Moving on
by Lleira
Summary: If you enjoy stories with no major plot, or drama, just a bit of talk between two friends, who might end up being more than friends, there is a slight possibility that this wont be such a waste of time. It s quite short :) Thanks to anybody who will give it a go. I don t own The Mentalist, nor the characters.
1. Sleep is not always for the weak

Lisbon sat at her desk in the air conditioned FBI building, working on a lot of reports that needed to be filled. It´s been quite a dull day, with nothing much going on, which was good in a way. It meant nobody got killed or attacked the nation.

Lisbon glanced around her to see everyone occupied at their desks, catching up with their paper work. There was one person missing today. And it bothered her more then is should.

Jane.

He did not came to work.

He called in sick.

Jane calling in sick was as unbelievable as pigs flying. She knew the main reason for his home staying. Everybody knew. All they needed to do was take a look on the calendar. This day, two years ago, he strangled a man who killed his family.

Perhaps it was for the best if Jane stayed home, but she was kind of worried about the man. He was finally back from that island of his after almost two years long isolation, and he kept on isolating himself further. During the few weeks he´s been back, they haven´t got a single case together, not a single serious talk...or a normal talk for that matter.

She huffed in annoyance still looking at her computer screen but not doing anything. Her eyes were locked at the screen but her mind was lost somewhere else. Perhaps in a certain Airstream, talking to her best friend who just returned back to her life and swept her of her feet once again.

Cho was typing furiously on his keyboard, making and irritating noise thanks to her current state of mind. Someone´s phone rung loudly, doors were being open and closed, a mixture of noises penetrating her skull as she kept on starring through the imaginary Airstream window.

She huffed again.

And made a choice.

* * *

Abbott gave her a day off absolutely not buying her headache story. He could see through her in instant and she knew he could. A silent agreement took place in his office and she was out of there as quickly as possible.

Finally outside, facing the possibility of what she might do, all the resolve of seeing her friend dissolved in a fog of doubts.

A headache started forming in the back of her head.

Jane lied on his Airstream bed stretched on his back with hands entangled on chest when a knock on the door startled him. He remained still, not caring about the intruder at all. The only person whom he cared about was still at work and there was about 5% chance of her coming at all. Anybody else could go to hell for all he cared.

He closed his eyes and took a long breath in. As he tried to exhale it calmly, the intruder knocked again, this time with more ferocity than before. He huffed, much the same as Lisbon did at her computer screen before.

"Jane"? came a female voice from the door.

Jane, recognizing the voice instantly, stood up, got a little head rush from standing too fast and almost lost balance.

"Lisbon?" he asked holding onto his small kitchen table to regain his steadiness.

"Yeah...can I come in?"

"Uh, sure, in a minute." he said hurrying to clean the place up a bit. There were beers bottles on a various places, an empty whiskey bottle, two empty tea cups, and his jammies, alongside with other stuff as books, magazines, socks... Jane, usually a pedant, had a rough night and even rougher morning, so he felt like cleaning could wait. Only if he knew...he was picking up the last bottle when all of sudden his left hand lost grip on one of them. As he tried to held on it, the other hand left the service and suddenly all off bottles fell on the ground with a loud noise that only empty bottles can make.

"Jane, you okay?" came a distressed voice again.

He looked at the mess, then at his bloody hand as one of the bottles broke and cut him deep on the palm and sighed.

"Meh", he told to himself and went to open the door to his messy kingdom.

Lisbon almost lost her patience just as the door opened up and revealed Jane, who indeed looked sick. Pale, hair all messed up and with big black bags under his eyes, just standing there, looking sheepishly at her. It was just as she was about to enter the Airstream when she spotted his bleeding hand.

"What the hell, Jane?"

* * *

"Ouch, that hurts!" Jane yelped and tried to yank his hand away from Lisbon, with no such luck. Her grip tightened as she sprayed the wound with a some kind of disinfection she found in Jane´s first aid kit.

"Stop being such a baby and hold still."

"It would be completely satisfactory to wash it under water, Lisbon. This is so uncalled for." Jane said and blinked. His vision was just a little blurry as the hangover really kicked in. He watched Lisbon carefully as she put a plaster over his wound.

"You have no idea where those bottles have been so it has to be done, Jane."

"In my fridge Lisbon. They´ve been in my fridge."

Lisbon rolled her eyes at the silly man and looked around. The place was a mess. Her place was usually a mess too so she knew what mess looks like. This was bad even for her standards.

Her eyes went back to Jane who sat there, head bowed, breathing slowly.

"Just how many of those you had Jane?"

"Just the right amount."

"Right amount my ass..." she murmured and got up with the intention of getting the dreaded medical supplies back where they belonged.

Jane chuckled, hearing what she said, but remained seated.

"Uh, Lisbon, I don´t want to sound mean but...how come you are here? Did somebody burn the FBI building down, or...?

Lisbon stopped there, above the medical kit with plasters and dreaded antiseptic in hands. Perhaps coming here was not a good idea after all. What was she thinking? Jane was never a fan of letting anybody invade his personal space, not in the best of days. This clearly was not the best of a day. And yet she left work early and came here, thinking that...that...what was that again?

"You are thinking out loud again, I don´t mean it like that Lisbon, I am just genuinely curious about your reasons, that´ s all."

That jerk.

Putting all those things in her hands down, she faced him with a hint of annoyance in her eyes.

"I was worried, okay?" she said and quickly turned back again, angry at herself for a lot of reasons.

"That´s"...he said, with a sigh, "understandable."

Jane finally looked up only to see the Lisbon´s back, her shoulders were down.

"I am glad you are here," Jane said silently. Lisbon turned to face him, ready to make a sarcastic remark until she saw his face.

He looked...sincere.

Troubled.

And hungover.

Lisbon took pity on that silly old man and joined him on the bed.

Jane immediately lowered his head on her shoulder and on that moment, Lisbon was completely sure, that he was not so much okay. Since he came back they merely talked, and now he initiated a physical contact all of sudden?

She let him, thought, she even let her own hand pet his wild curls lightly.

He was gone for almost two years and she missed him like crazy, so a little pat on the head was okay at these circumstances.

"Jane?"

"Mm?"

"I too don´t want to be mean, but you should really take a shower."

He chuckled briefly, lifted his head and nodded. Without any words he got up and went to the small, barely usable, Airstream shower.

* * *

Cold water.

Cold water running all over his hot, naked and heavily thirsty body.

It made his headache fade a way a little. His senses were coming back to life after being shut down for over 42 hours. He reeked. Even with the water already washing some of his sweat away, he could understand what Lisbon meant. He needed shower. Or maybe two or three in a row.

And since she was here, in his mobile home, he just as might.

Only if he knew better. He was so sure she will stay at work, probably late, go home, send him a text message asking whether he is alright, and worry in her living room, with a spoon and ice cream in her hands waiting for his response.

Jane couldn´t decide whether he felt more ashamed or pleased, under these circumstances.

Lisbon was half-way in making sandwiches and tea for Jane when he finally left his tiny bathroom. She gave him a judging look and blushed a little.

He looked and smelled better.

And after hearing "I made you some sandwiches and tea," he started to feel a lot better.

* * *

Jane munched on a sandwich after a bit of a fight that took place in the small kitchen. They resolved it quickly with a deal. Jane had to eat at least one sandwich and drink his tea before joining Lisbon in tidying his place. She was just about to throw away beer bottles when Jane sipped the last remains of his tea.

"All done, do I have the permission to help you now, Lisbon?"

"Yeah, you can start with the dishes."

Tidying the place took up some time during which both of them remained mostly silent, deep in their own thoughts. Lisbon was still worried if this was indeed a good idea which Jane could clearly see. She was tidying furiously just as she used to do to her poor desk at the CBI after some of his antics.

As the alcohol was slowly leaving his system, the reality crept back. Two years ago he murdered a serial killer with his bare hands, and now, two years later Lisbon put a plaster on one of those hands and helped him tidy his place up.

Suddenly, his hands felt heavy, his head dizzy and his legs were having trouble in carrying him anymore. He dropped the wet cloth which Lisbon gave him and breathed in hard.

"Jane?"

When he did not respond Lisbon turned to face him, just in time to catch him before his legs gave it away.

"Jane, you okay?" she asked him worriedly, slowly making their way to the bed.

"Yeah, It´s just a lack of a goodnight sleep, most probably, I´ll be fine."

They both sat down, Lisbon still holding him just in case.

Jane was awfully silent for a long time until he asked the question she´d been avoiding to answer since his return.

"You hated me right after, didn´t you?"

Lisbon froze.

She did hate him.

For a few moments maybe. How could she keep hating him? He was finally free, alive and well. He left her a complete mess, with no job, no prospect of future and without the best and maybe only true friend she ever had.

She almost became an alcoholic.

FBI interrogated her on weekly basis.

All while Jane was growing plants on some island after strangling a man with his bare hands.

But he never promised her anything else. She always knew that the day will come . It was not his fault she found it hard to let go and move on.

"I see," he said and tried to wiggle out of her hands.

"I did," she said letting go of him. "For a day or two maybe...I certainly don´t feel that way now...I...I missed you, mostly."

And by mostly she meant every single day.

"I missed you, too," he said. "There was not a single day without thinking about you," he said silently.

Lisbon looked up, only to find his face inches from hers. He was looking so desperate, broken and she was sure her face read the same.

"I still miss you everyday," Jane managed to squeeze out of his tight neck and then proceed to successfully wiggle of Lisbon´s hands following by a run to the bathroom as the sandwiches he ate earlier were making their way up rather then way down.

Lisbon just sat there, eyes still wide open, his words still resonating strongly in her head. It was when his own words were replaced by the sound of retching when Lisbon finally snapped out of it and went to the rescue.

* * *

She held some of his hair that seemed to be in the way, while he did what needed to be done. She helped him wash his face afterwards and escorted him to the bed.

Jane happily let her help his sad little self.

"You okay there?" Lisbon asked him with a hint of amusement in her voice.

He was laying in a bed, literally tucked in and absolutely exhausted.

"Um hm."

"Good, I should be going then and you should get some sleep, okay?"

Jane, already half asleep, opened his eyes wide. Somehow the thought of her leaving was making him feel even worse as the alcohol did.

"Don´t go," he said and regretted it immediately. It was a stupid move. Desperate one. And totally uncalled for.

"What?" She said turning her full attention to him.

He was desperate. And alone.

"Don´t go? I mean... you could stay. I am sure you have your overnight bag with you, as always. I...I could scoot and make room for you. Like this."

Lisbon watched him as he moved in the bed just to make some small amount of room for her. She tensed. This was not a good idea. This whole day should be not called friday but a notagoodideaday.

"Okay," she said and sighed, leaving the Airstream to get her overnight bag she always carried, an action that surprised both of them equally.

It was even more surprising when she joined him on the bed, in her jersey and yoga pants, her hair still a little damp after the shower she took, still shivering and swearing at Jane´s cold water supplies.

Half asleep, he flung his own blanket over her and scooted closer.

"What do you think you´re doing Jane?"

"Sharing body-heat," he murmured groggily.

"Would you stop it?" she asked but got no response as Jane was already out.

She should be nervous about this. There should be a shitstorm in her head. But after years of overthinking and analyzing every single thing that had something to do with Patrick Jane, Lisbon had enough.

Not now, not today.

Now, she closed her eyes and marveled at the sensation of being here, with Jane, who shared his blanket with her and had his hand rested over her belly.

They can deal with all of this in the morning.

Until then, she let both of them to have the much needed rest.


	2. Morning to remember

It was still pretty much dark when Jane woke up, as usual. The things he felt were not usual at all. He felt rested. Content. Happy even.

Basically he felt like a normal person should feel on the weekend morning. Or like a normal man. One of his body parts that usually stayed still was now asking for attention. It had something to do with the petite brunette who was spooning him from behind. As she breathed out, her warm breath tickled his neck, raising goosebumps all over his body.

He breathed in slowly in vain try to regain control of his whole body. He must´ve tensed because Lisbon moved even closer and made an adorable little huff. That made the whole process even harder. Not just the process, so to say. Jane was glad that he was the small spoon right now.

Lisbon. In his bed. Voluntarily.

He still couldn´t quite believe that yesterday happened. That this morning is in fact happening for that matter. She was always able to surprise him, no matter how translucent she seemed to be, there was so much more under the surface.

And he loved that about her.

Well, not just that. All of her in fact.

A sudden realization hit him so hard he nearly jumped out of the bed and without Lisbon holding him in place he just as might. Happy and content feelings were transformed into panic quicker than a bullet leaving a gun. The realization, so simple, and yet so complex in it´s own funny way.

He loves her. With all his heart.

And it scares him beyond understanding.

His breathing became ragged all of sudden, an urge to leave, to run even made it impossible to stay in her sweet embrace. He wriggled out of her arms and run outside.

The air was cold and a bit moist from the morning dew as Jane tried to calm himself with some breathing exercises. It would have been more effective if the panic he felt was not making him pant hard rather then breathe.

He bowed down and put his hands on knees, just standing there as the darkness slowly transformed into dim light as the sunset started to set in.

"Jane?" he could hear her say with that half awake voice.

"You okay?" she continued but from the sound of it she stayed still, probably too scared to approach him.

This was a mess. He is and forever will be a mess. And Lisbon deserves the best she can get, not a broken piece of a man that he is. And yet he couldn´t handle the thought of her not being with him.

Not anymore.

"I am so sorry," he said with a ragged voice still unable to face her.

Lisbon sighed and went out, barefoot, the dew tickling her feet.

He felt her hand of his back and shivered at the touch.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked in that "cut the crap" voice and it made him chuckle.

"Can we have this little breakdown inside? My feet are cold and yours probably too," she said so calmly it made him feel a little better.

At least one of them knew how to remain calm and sensible during tight situations.

"Just give me a minute," Jane said still a bit bowed down with his hands still on his knees, a good position to hide his morning bodily function that seemed to be unaffected by the panic he felt.

"Okay," she said stubbornly but went back inside. Jane took a few minutes to regain control of his body which seemed to work quite well. Calming his mind, that seemed to be the main problem.

He might stay outside. He might even run away and let Lisbon figure out what happened. He might avoid her like he did so far. He might do all of those things.

Or he could just stop all this madness and go inside and see how things turn out.

With breathing back to normal, Jane made his first step forward actually wanting to move on.

* * *

Lisbon paced around the small kitchen making some tea just to keep herself occupied. Jasmine green for Jane, and gunpowder for her. She had no idea how gunpowder tasted but she liked the name.

She too had no idea what happened to Jane. Or better, she had tons of ideas, most of them catastrophic.

Their situation was complicated even without all of this. Maybe she should have left yesterday instead of sleeping in here with him. Even though it was the best sleep she had in ages.

She used to have a lot of nightmares during Jane´s absence which usually featured a lifeless body floating on cold dark water. When he was not in water, he was usually on her old CBI couch and she was unable to wake him up.

It did woke her up, almost every night, and she had to take a shower most of the times to get rid of the cold sweat that was covering her whole body.

This unpleasant dreams somehow faded when his first letter arrived, thus revealing that he is still alive somewhere. That night she slept good, with few shots of tequila in her system and a letter placed near her head.

She felt so relieved back then, like a giant stone has been lifted of her shoulders.

He was alive. He still is very much alive. And to prove this point Jane entered the Airstream looking like a troubled Adonis.

Lisbon nearly dropped her gunpowder tea when she saw him. No man should have such an effect on her and yet...certain Patrick Jane does. Even in his pajamas.

And by the look on his face, he was quite aware of the fact.

He even smiled a little.

"I made you some tea," she managed to say calmly but with shaky hands.

"Thank you," he responded trying hard to sound calm but failing miserable. Lisbon felt like she could see the real him for the first time in years.

A broken man, perhaps beyond repair, but still trying his best to hide his sorrow behind the mask of cheerfulness.

After having to live with a broken father who drawn his misery on her and his sons, seeing Jane, being able to smile gave her some sense of hope. Some sense of belonging she missed so much during growing up.

She loved that about him.

Well, not just that. All of him.

A shock run through her body as the realization finally hit her. For the second time today she almost broke one of Jane´s cups. Instead of letting it fall from her shaky hands she took a sip of it and made a face. It might have a good name, it even smelled good, but she just never understood Jane´s love for tea.

"It´s an acquired taste," she heard him say after a small chuckle.

"Yeah, right," she responded blankly, not knowing what else to say thanks to the shock she felt.

They both went silent for a while. Jane sipped on his tea enjoying it even though Lisbon made it differently than he was used to. Surprisingly it tasted heavenly. His cup was nearly empty and yet none of them has made a sound. Awkward silence turned into deafening one and Lisbon couldn´t handle the pressure anymore.

"So, are we going to talk about this, or...?"

Jane turned to face her as she was lost for words. Both actions terrified her, talking and at the same time not talking about anything. By the look on Jane´s face he felt the same.

"Well, basically you´ll need to get used to that sweet taste which is hidden just there in the tea -"

"I am not talking about the tea, Jane,"

"Ah, perhaps you want to talk the other thing then," he said and all the fake cheerfulness left his voice.

Lisbon watched him as he sat down at the bed. He then patted the small place beside him as an invitation. She rolled her eyes but followed him.

"So," she said, "what was that? A nightmare?" she asked with those green eyes locked into his. Beautiful green eyes full of concern.

"No," he responded, "actually it was the exact opposite," Jane said and shifted a little.

Lisbon raised her eyebrows at him.

"You freaked because of a good dream?"

Jane sighed.

"Not in particular, it´s not so easy to explain," he said even though it was easy to explain. For somebody normal, living a normal life. Like he used to live. Telling "I love you and never want to be without you" to Angela was easy. He meant it with all his heart and yet it was so easy to say.

As easy as losing her, losing Charlotte. One minute you are a father and husband and the next day somebody ask you to choose clothes in which they will be buried. If this does not mark you, nothing ever will.

So the fear he felt was more then real. It must´ve been because Lisbon scooted even closer and put her hand inside of his. Jane entwined his fingers with hers automatically, without even thinking about it.

"You´re shivering," she said, even though it sounded more like an accusation, and managed to pull one of the blankets over them.

Jane sighed in contentment. No matter how hard saying those word would be, no matter how hard it will be to make this work, being without her was even harder. He closed his eyes and let the truth out from his heart.

"I love you," he said quietly, his voice calm, shiver still running through his body.

He could hear her inhale a sharp breath but she stayed still, with hands still entangled. He kept his eyes closed, too afraid to look into her eyes for obvious reasons.

Lisbon managed to inhale sharply after Jane´s words. Such words should scare her and yet the only thing she felt was relief.

Finally.

Finally, she was allowed to say them back.

"I love you too," she managed to whisper feeling lightheaded. All the meaningless tension that was between them since his return from that stupid island disappeared. All that mattered was the man who was still shivering in her arms.

Jane opened his eyes because he couldn´t quite believe the words which escaped her mouth. Lisbon was staring back at him with a little shy smile, blushing furiously.

"You do?" he asked hoarsely.

She blushed even more and nodded.

"Well that´s lucky," he said beaming like she never seen him before.

She smiled back at him. No wonder he freaked out this morning. She was on a verge of a breakdown too. Tears which somehow appeared on her cheeks were the solid proof of it.

She felt bit of ashamed of herself for crying until she saw tears falling down Jane´s cheeks as well.

Jane let out a chuckle through his sobs and hugged her fiercely.

"We are bunch of fools," she said between sniffles and sobs.

Jane let out another chuckle, then remained silent for a moment.

"It wont be easy," he whispered into her ear all of sudden, and the sincerity and uncertainty in his voice made her shiver.

"I don´t care."

"But Lisbon, -"

Something cut him off. Something he was not ready to experience at all. Lisbon´s lips sealed his mouth shut. After being in a celibacy for more then a decade, something in him broke and even though he was fighting against it a small whine escaped his mouth, and Lisbon, prepared as always, used his parted lips to dart inside his mouth.

After that, he was not able to made one coherent thought.

He returned his kisses with passion he never knew he had.

It was intoxicating, dizzying even. Maybe it was the lack of breath, maybe the sensation all too strong to handle right now, he didn´t know.

But she tasted like tea and Lisbon and he just couldn´t get enough.

And it seemed she felt the same.

She did.

Lisbon too couldn´t get enough of him. A damn good kisser, this Patrick Jane.

"God," Jane managed to mumble during a quick drawn in breath pause.

"Yeah, I think we´re going to be fine," she said while trying to catch her own breath.

Jane, prepared for some more making out, chuckled loudly and Lisbon joined him.

"We´ll be fine," she said seriously, so determined that Jane actually started to believe in it.

Life is sometimes funny, and just when they were about to continue right where they´ve stopped, both of their phones started ringing. Jane let out a deep sigh as Lisbon turned to pick her own phone up. He was able to see the caller ID and it was just as he suspected. Abbott. He went to grab his own phone only to see Cho was trying to reach him.

A case.

Knowing Lisbon, Jane started to get ready.

The sooner it´s over, the better.

They have a lot to do afterwards.


	3. Moving on

"We can crush at my place, if you want" nine words that made him ecstatic after a really long, really rough day at work. They´ve been standing awkwardly in the elevator waiting for it to descent when she spoke them.

"Really? You´ll let me invade your personal space so easily?"

"I invaded yours, so it´s only fair. And it´s way too hot to stay in that silver bucket of yours."

Jane chuckled. "I would very much like to crash at your place, if that´s what you truly want," he said as the uncertainty of this whole situation get to him. He simply couldn´t tell whether she truly meant it, doubts forming inside the head of his. Lots of doubts. He was not used to this.

Lisbon gave him a puzzling look. Seeing Patrick Jane uncertain was not a thing she was used to see, too.

"Of course I do," she stated matter of factly as a blush started to form on her cheeks.

"Okay, it´s settled then," he said beaming again, the uncertainty all gone from his expression, but not from his head.

Nevertheless, they left the building grinning like a bunch of teenagers.

* * *

It took them almost an hour to reach Lisbon´s house. Jane needed a pit stop at his Silver Bucket to gather some of his belongings and then proceeded to navigate Lisbon to a certain Italian restaurant she never heard of, picking up two take-outs and somehow a bottle of wine.

Lisbon was impressed.

She was even more impressed as she dug into the mushroom risotto as Jane worked trough his chicken marsala, while they sat behind her kitchen table, in her kitchen, in her house, drinking wine from her glasses.

And it felt...normal. It was not weird, nor awkward...it felt right.

"Umm, this chicken taste absolutely amazing, how´s your risotto?" Jane suddenly asked stopping her train of thoughts.

"Good, wanna bite?"

"Generous as always," he said smiling, his fork already in her plate.

"I said a bite, Jane! Hey!" she shouted at him, but he already put the fork inside his mouth, making yummy noises.

"Here, have some of mine, it is truly delicious...what?" He asked when Lisbon started to giggle.

"What?" he asked puzzled. "C´mon Lisbon, what´s so funny? I´d like to enjoy a good laugh too, you know."

"Come here," she said, kissing the corner of his mouth all of sudden, an action that made him totally forget the food in front of him.

"You got a mushroom stuck there, it is all gone now," she said with a sly smile.

For a moment, Jane was not able to make a single remark, still remembering how her soft lips felt against his. He cleared his throat, suddenly feeling too self-conscious.

"Hey," she said, "you okay?" sensing his mood change.

A high pitched "uhm" was his response, followed by "More wine?"

Lisbon smiled and nodded as Jane proceeded to pour both of them more red wine. They ate in silence since then, or at least Lisbon did. Jane managed to successfully move half of his portion on the other side of plate and back. He sipped on wine though and his glass was empty sooner then Lisbon´s.

Lisbon sighed mentally. Of course this was about to happen, Jane silently freaking out. Few days ago she would´ve let him sulk and brood without a question but not after this morning. They´ve wasted enough time in a lifetime, hell, two lifetimes, to act like this.

"Jane," she said and reached for his hand.

"Hm?" he asked, startled.

"What´s the matter?"

"Uh, nothing -"

"Patrick," she said trying to make eye contact with him. He inhaled sharply at the use of his first name, and looked up. No need for her to tell him what she felt, he could see it all on her face, the weariness, numbness, and yet a spark of determination in her eyes. No matter how much he hated talking about his own feelings, seeing Lisbon like this was even worse.

"I have doubts," he said finally, eyes locked into hers. He could clearly see the spark leaving her eyes, and being replaced by sadness. "It´s not like you think," he swallowed," Teresa, I have doubts about me, I don´t know if I ever be able to fully appreciate you, as the doubts and fears are running deep inside me, overshadowing every blissful moment we have. You need to be appreciated, and I truly love you, I just..."

"I understand," she said, and Jane gave her an unbelieving look, "I really do, you are not the only one having doubts."

He rolled his eyes theatrically, waving with his fork in the air and Lisbon couldn´t help but smile.

"What doubts could you possibly have, you are perfect, too perfect for me."

"Nobody´s perfect, but in my opinion we are perfect for each other."

Jane finally stopped looking like a sad puppy and chuckled briefly.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, I mean...it just feels right. It´s been long since i felt like this..."

Jane suddenly stopped gave her of of his rarest realistic smiles that came from depths of his soul rather than from his act. She rewarded him with the same. Once again, they grinned like teenagers, happy teenagers.

And they felt like them.

Jane doubts resolved for a moment, when he saw her expression.

Lisbon forgot all about the food, hell, all about the whole world, too lost in the man looking at her, his stare intense, a hint of that beloved smile still on his lips. Something in her woke up, something she has not felt...well, never. Such desire she could swear couldn´t exist. She read about it, even heard about it, but never felt it.

Until now.

Patrick Jane.

Here.

Hers.

Without thinking she kissed him so passionately it surprised not just him, but her too. The feeling of mutual love kept them going more, Lisbon´s hands trailing into his curls, while Jane managed to sneak his hands under her blouse, feeling her smooth, warm skin. She moaned at his touch, a sound that traveled through his whole body to a place where something primal woke. Somehow, Jane picked Lisbon up, still kissing her, and managed to carry her to the nearest doable furniture, which turned out to be a couch. He dropped her down and fell back on her in an instant, not wanting to leave her for a second. His lips found hers, and the making out, which was no longer romantic and sweet, continued.

Jane returned her kisses with the same passion stopping only to take a deep breath to be able to continue. The fire which hadn´t burned for a decade was now ignited and no amount of doubts or fears could tore it down.

He was ready he realized. Scared, terrified even, but ready.

Not a damn thing, a damn though would stop him.

Not now.

Somehow, Lisbon managed to unbutton his shirt, some of the buttons hitting the floor as she seemed to be in a hurry. He followed her example and literally tore her blouse apart. There still was a little obstacle called bra in the way though. He stopped kissing her for a slight moment during which she freed herself from it, while he helped her quite happily.

They continued to undress each other in the same fashion, pants, panties, socks even, flying around and then hitting the floor haphazardly.

Soon enough, after all the kissing, touching and exploring, Teresa was laying naked under naked Patrick, looking into his eyes. She could feel his readiness, she could feel her own readiness too.

His eyes showed her all she wanted to see.

He was ready, as ready as a person could be.

So was she.

It did not took them long the find the perfect rhythm, as the truth was spoken earlier by Lisbon, they were in fact made for each other. Lisbon had not felt something like this ever in her life and Jane´s moans and groans let her known it was the same for him.

The release came quickly and yet it felt like ages. Lisbon couldn´t stop her cries of pleasure, while Jane collapsed on top of her, with feelings he though to be lost forever.

He cried out and so did she, in the exact same moment, releasing themselves out of the decade long wanting and longing, as the tears of joy escaped their eyes.

They cried silently in the arms of each other, naked in their bodies and their feelings, such a thing none of them thought would be possible.

They stayed in a tight embrace waiting for their minds to calm down. Jane´s rapid heartbeat still echoed in her ears, as she rested her head on his chest.

He planted the softest of kisses into her hair and snuggled her closer.

Soon enough the need of warm blanket and perhaps a shower would force them out of each others arms, but right now, just now, nothing of that mattered.

It was just when Lisbon started to shiver in his arms when Jane sighed and let go of her. She gave him a questioning look with a hint of stubbornness, easily translated as, "the hell you´re doing?"

He chuckled briefly at her adorable expression. "C´mon, let´s get us under hot stream of water."

She huffed but eventually they both got up and made it to the shower together.

They shower took a long time during which they whispered reassuring words, touching each other soothingly. Jane´s fingers trembled as he cupped Lisbon´s cheek to give her a tentative kiss, igniting the fire once again. She returned it, enjoying the slow, almost innocent way of it.

The innocence was replaced with something more wicked, prolonging the shower even more.

Properly cleaned, emotionally and physically exhausted, Lisbon lied down next to Jane, following his example of wearing nothing as a sleeping gear. He snuggled her closer as soon as she got under the covers.

"Comfortable?" he murmured groggily.

Lisbon only nodded against his chest, already half asleep.

"You alright?" she asked suddenly, with concern in her voice.

He could understands her concern. But this was not the time, nor place, to speak about what just happened. All he wanted to do was fall asleep with the woman he loved in his arms, and stay like this forever.

"I´m good, don´t worry about me, Teresa."

"Good, love you," she managed to say before passing out entirely.

"Love you too."

Jane tried to stay awake a little longer, just to savor the amazing feeling of having Lisbon snuggled up to him, to commit everything he done and saw today into his memory palace, but the soft sound of her breathing lulled him into sleep soon enough.

There were no nightmares that night, no night terrors, shivers,...only Blissful slumber.

A short one, as four hours later Lisbon´s alarm went off and woke them up.

Jane sighed and Lisbon simply growled, took her phone and turned the dreadful alarm off.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Jane stood in kitchen, preparing a quick breakfast for the two of them. A soft smile played on his lips just as Lisbon joined him.

Not a morning person his Lisbon, for sure. She looked more like a zombie, wandering around the kitchen, all grumpy, until she found a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Her eyes lit up a little.

"Thank you," she said genuinely, with the cup already at her lips.

"Pleasure, my dear." "And here," he said putting a plate with scrambled eggs in front of her, "is your breakfast. Enjoy."

"Your famous scrambled eggs, hm?"

"Uh-hm," Jane nodded with his mouth full.

Lisbon put her coffee cup down and dug into those famous eggs which stood their reputation. They really were tasty.

"They´re good," she said.

Jane raised an eyebrow at her.

"Good? That is how you describe them? Only good?" he asked as she nodded back at him, with a smile. "That hurts, Teresa, hurts. Then again, I always suspected that you might be high maintenance. I just did not assume it will be this much."

"Yeah right, me being high maintenance?"

"Well, you just been served the best scrambled eggs in your life, not to mention the freshly brewed coffee, and what is your response? They´re good, just good. There is no pleasing you, woman!"

"Maybe you just have to try harder," she said laughing and kept on teasing him, enjoying this playful banter she missed so much. They continued to tease each other all the way to Jane´s Airstream, where she dropped him off so it wont look like they arrived to work together.

Lisbon really wanted to keep her private life...well, private. At least for a while and Jane understood. He gave her a kiss before she drove off, not just a small innocent one, but passionate one, putting all of his feelings into it.

He couldn´t be happier when she returned it with the same passion.

Before things could turn into something more serious again, Lisbon stopped kissing him, blushing furiously to Jane´s amusement.

"Trying hard enough?" he asked in a low husky voice, that made her heart skip a beat.

"Uuh, yeah, it´s...I...I have to go," she said breathing loudly.

"Right," he said looking smug, " I´ll be right there too."

"Drive safe!" he called after her as she drove off slowly.

"You too!" he could hear her yell.

* * *

He watched her drove off until her car disappeared completely and sighed. He was still wearing the shirt with missing buttons, already thinking about keeping it forever as a beautiful memory. He stepped into his Airstream, taking the shirt off slowly, putting it away somewhere safe and taking a fresh one.

Jane hoped that he would solve the case today as a plan started to forming inside the head of his. Lisbon clearly needed help with unpacking as he could see it yesterday and this morning. A lot of boxes lied around in her cozy little house, still rather full of stuff.

First, the case, then, house.

He grinned as he drove off to work, already looking forward to see Lisbon blush again.

* * *

Thank you for reading :) you guys rock :)


	4. Home, sweet home

"Looks nice" Jane stated after he and Lisbon spent last two hours unpacking. He stood in the middle of the living room observing and admiring their work while Lisbon sat on the couch, head rested and eyes closed.

"Uhm," was all she managed to say. To be honest she felt tired as hell after these few days. All those emotional roller coaster rides, cases and seemingly invincible Patrick Jane wore her out. She has not suffered with insomnia like he did and needed at least six hours of solid sleep if she wanted to function like a normal person.

Sleep or coffee...which Jane refused to make stating it is actually after midnight and she doesn´t need another one.

"Your lack of enthusiasm is disturbing Teresa,"

"It´s not the enthusiasm I am lacking..."she said and yawned which made Jane chuckle.

"Fair enough, let´s call it a night shall we?"

"Finally," she said standing up and heading into the bathroom totally oblivious to her surroundings.

"You coming?" she asked when he showed no sings of following her.

"Oh, sure" he said happily still a little surprised by the domestic phase they seemed to hit.

* * *

One steamy hot shower later Jane found himself unable to move in Lisbon´s bed as she covered half of his body. She was snoring lightly, even drooling a little on his chest and yet he found it endearing. Little gross, but still endearing. It was twelve minutes after one and they had only few hours of sleep ahead of them.

Even so, Jane find it hard to close his eyes and let the sleep overcome him.

He breathed in and out steadily, thinking about how much can a life change in a split of a second...from a man seeking revenge and nothing else but revenge to a man ready to live and love again.

There was this fear of never being able to let his past go, and to be honest he couldn´t do it even if he wanted to. Not being able to forget the past is one thing, living in it is another.

Someone once said that hell is not a place you go to, it is rather something you carry around...as far as he was concerned it might just be true...and he couldn´t do it anymore. Not just for his sake, for Lisbon´s too.

Mostly for her sake.

Without her, he would gladly let the hell consume him.

"Why aren´t you sleeping?" she asked groggily and all of sudden, successfully managing to scare the crap out of him.

"God, Teresa...you almost gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry," she mumbled in not-sorry-at-all tone in her voice.

She shifted a little and sighed.

"Did I drool on you?"

"Well, just a little bit," he said with a smile on his lips.

"Sorry about that too," she said with the same tone then before, and rested her head on a dry spot. "You okay?" she asked after a second in a more serious tone and propped her head up.

"Of course," he said smiling, "go back to sleep."

"You sure?"

"One hundredth percent sure, just as I am sure you will be grumpy in the morning without the much needed rest, so for the sake of both of us, and for good people in the FBI, go to sleep."

"Hush...good night then, love you," she said casually and wrapped herself around him once more.

"Love you too, my dear... love you too.

Jane eventually fell asleep and had a four hours of rest, which was good enough for him. Lisbon on the other hand woke up grumpy and tired just as he though she would.

So, Jane added a new routine to the start of the day, instead of making just one cup of tea before facing the world, he now made a cup of coffee as well.

* * *

Following days had almost the same pattern- work - home, changing mostly only in places they slept in. Some nights it was Silver Bucket, some nights Lisbon´s house. Even though both of them were set in their own ways of life it wasn´t hard at all to be together. It seemed to be the exact opposite. Lisbon looked forward to every night which they could and would spent together, regardless of where they stayed needles to say it was usually her place.

The only thing which bothered her was the lack of initiation from Jane´s side. It seemed that every decision they´ve made was her decision. As if Jane would do anything to please her, in every way. Maybe any other woman would love to have a man like that, but Lisbon kind of missed the spontaneous man he used to be.

She even initiated all the romantic encounters that happened between them so far. Jane, once he saw her desire, gladly joined her and put all the effort in it, but the initiation? Not once.

To be honest, she loved every minute of it even without Jane initiating anything simply because Jane was the only man she truly loved and the most talented man she ever been with. Literally. He could read her like an open book, giving her just what she wanted. And yet it felt like he was holding something back, maybe even like he was holding himself back. She missed the devil may care attitude he used to have, well, not all of it for sure, but some of it.

A plan started to form in her head.

Not an elaborate one like Jane used to make, rather than a quite simply one.

Make herself irresistible to him.

* * *

Jane was already lying on the couch that FBI provided counting seconds until Lisbon shows up. They still went to work separately trying to lessen all the gossip about them going out. Jane had to smile about that. Lisbon was not a great actress and she tried really hard to act like nothing is happening between them thus making their relationship even more visible. Jane was sure that Abbott and Cho knew what was going on, among others. He did not dare to tell Lisbon about it, just to avoid the major freak out she would have. To her, it was still to soon for anybody to know.

For him? He couldn´t care less who knew. All he cared about was the woman he loved, the woman who just entered the room and made him inhale a sharp breath as his heart skipped a beat.

The way she looked today...it made him swallow hard. For the last few months Lisbon used to dress a lot more feminine than during her times as Senior agent in the CBI and Jane quietly enjoyed this new trend.

Today, she did more then that...and Jane realized that he was staring openly. She wore a stunning green blouse, which highlighted her eyes and...well, her curves in a subtle yet very noticeable way. So did her black jeans, which he never saw before. Her chestnut hair shone in the morning sun, making her look like a saint, which she just might as well be.

Even her make-up was more apparent.

But what really caught his attention was the expression on her face - a wide smile when she saw him staring. Proud smile. Smug one.

It made him absolutely crave her in every way possible.

He could see from the peripheral vision that he was not the only one staring at Lisbon. Even Cho noticed that something was off and gave Lisbon a look. And then another one. All of sudden Jane became very...not jealous so to say, but territorial.

Every cell in him wanted to scream "Mine" and growl at anybody who came closer. It´s been years since he felt something like that.

"Hey you," she said when she get close enough for him to hear.

"Hey," he said hoarsely and cleared his throat, still staring.

"What?" she asked and sat down at her desk starting the computer in the process.

"Nothing, just admiring the stunning view we have today. "

"Shus," she responded and to Jane´s delight blushed furiously.

Yeah, nobody could see that their are couple. Certainly not a room full of detectives. Jane caught Cho´s stoic stare and smiled sheepishly back at him. Cho only rolled his eyes and returned to his paperwork.

Fun day was ahead of them.

* * *

Jane was wrong. The day was not fun at all. It stretched in front of him like a wasteland without an end.

He too was right in a sense. There were a lot of other people who noticed Lisbon´s change of appearance. And not just at work. They went out for a lunch to the park, park filled with people...men kind of people.

A lot of staring happened and it did not helped at all that he was in fact a mentalist. It was easy to translate what was written on every face.

So when the work day finally ended Jane couldn´t be happier.

He was just about to leave the bullpen when Lisbon caught up to him.

"Wait up, I´m leaving too," she said picking up her bag, phone and keys.

"Oh? You sure? Just like that - no incognito mode? This might start all those grand gossips you are so worried about, and of course, leaving the work on time?" Jane said quietly only so she could hear and smiled as they walked to the elevator. "What is happening?" he asked with a puzzled look on his face after entering the elevator.

"I don´t know, you tell me, you are the mind-reader after all," she said and smiled too.

"You really aren´t worried," he more of a stated than asked reading every bit of her he could.

"Not really...it´s not like we are a secret anymore," she said casually and the elevator beeped opening it´s doors and letting them have their little freedom.

"You are serious," he stated again following the woman leading him out of the building, still a bit surprised.

"As serious as I can be," she said truthfully and unlocked her car.

"Good," he managed to scramble before entering the car grinning like a loon.

They drove home silently, only the music playing.

Soft jazz, Jane´s favorite. Lisbon tuned the radio on few days ago and let it there since, so now every time he rode with her there was not just the company to love but the music too. Together it mashed into something unbelievably enjoyable.

He soon closed his eyes lost in the tune playing on the radio, replaying the hot shower from yesterday. And the following morning.

"Tired?" Lisbon asked, amusement filling her voice.

"Oh? No, not at all, believe me."

"Okay," she said with smile. "You hungry? We can we stop at -"

"No, I´ll cook. Let´s just go home." Jane said and shifted in his seat suddenly a bit uncomfortable.

"Fine," she said and grinned on the inside, until the meaning of the sentence got to her. Since when was her place a home for him? Sure, Jane had moved a bit of his belongings to her place, necessaries mostly...like a toothbrush. Or shampoo. Or clothes. Socks. Underwear. A couple of books. Okay, lot´s of them. Even his tea cup. He even stocked her kitchen with his favourite tea blends.

The only thing missing was a couch which he picked and Airstream parked in front of the house.

Lisbon counted. For the last few days, they spent almost every night at her place.

And to think she was worried about his lack of initiative.

They were living together for Christ sake!

Despite all of it she wasn´t even a bit freaked out. The realization came and go and she felt calm. For the first time in ages life felt right. And the fact Jane thought about her place as of home touched her deeply.

Maybe life could actually be good for a change.

Jane lacked Lisbon´s calmness. He had to behave and control himself through the whole day, watching men giving his girlfriend longing looks unable to do anything about it. He himself couldn´t give her a longing look.

Maybe cooking was not the greatest idea right now. His mind usually analytical and clear, was now clouded by visions that would made Lisbon blush.

So far, he let the initiative totally on her making sure she got all the space and control she might need. Today though...he was not sure about his self-control.

Wait.

Jane went back to this morning, watching it like a movie being replayed. Maybe there was a secret motive behind her appearances.

It´s Lisbon.

Of course there is a secret motive.

A simple motive, not so secret anymore. Jane inhaled a sharp breath and shifted in the passenger seat again.

He will definitely loose his control today.

* * *

Lisbon stepped into her small living room, turning to face Jane ready to ask him what he planned for dinner.

A passionate kiss and Jane pressed against her was not what she thought it would be but she wouldn´t complain. Rather then that, she eased herself closer to him and kissed him back.

Jane let the animal in him do the job.

No calculation, no holding back, no cold reading, no tricks. Nothing.

He swooped her up into his tight embrace and carried to the couch where Instead of putting her down slowly, he simple throw her and the expression she had showed him that´s what exactly what she wanted.

They undressed each other in a record time, both seeking the skin on skin contact desperately, skipping the foreplay entirely.

Soon enough their bodies found each other once again, but this time Jane did not hold anything back. He let his primal instincts in charge, grunting and groaning, while Lisbon did the same under him. She bit him, scratched his back, while he kept going, his ears filled with her moans and screams.

Lost in the woman beneath him, Jane could feel her tight embrace sending shivers down his spine. His movements became more and more erratic all while Lisbon had almost an black out from the pleasure. She gripped her nails into his back and closed her eyes, tears escaping and running down her cheeks.

Jane felt her body tensing, saw what was written on her face and couldn´t take it anymore. Groaning like a cave man, he collapsed on top of her, hardly breathing.

She panted heavily, trying to catch her breath and put her hands around him one more time.

They stayed still and quiet mostly because of the shortness of breath and few sore muscles. Lisbon regained her breath despite the weight of Jane on top of her.

"Thanks for cooking," she said sounding content and Jane chuckled.

"Got a room for desert?" he asked in a husky voice, his hands already running through her body.

She giggled under him giving him a kiss on his neck, and it was all the answer he needed.

* * *

"You had all this planned out, didn´t you," Jane stated holding Lisbon in his arms. She didn´t even try to deny it and nodded.

"Kind of," she said smiling away.

"You are a vixen, Teresa. I always knew you were," he stated with a smile on his lips, a smile that didn´t stay there for long.

"Why did you not talk to me about it?" he asked on a more serious note. Lisbon rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Just what would I tell you? I wanted you to..."

"Be more initiative, spontaneous?"

"Well, yeah."

Jane grinned like a Cheshire cat and snuggled closer.

"Consider it done."

A silence fell on them, not the awkward type in which people have this compulsive need to say something just to stop it, this silence mirrored the calmness they both felt. Jane was stroking Lisbon´s naked back with his deft fingers, listening to her breathing and for the first time in ages, just lied there, relaxing, without self-doubts or over-thinking as his company.

"Patrick?" Lisbon asked all of sudden and he turned his full attention to her.

"Yes my dear?"

"Are we living together?"

Jane popped his head up on his elbow to get a better view of her.

"Looks like that, yes," he said after a small pause.

"Okay," was all she said, her expression blank.

Jane chuckled. They really should work on their communication skills.

"Let´s make it official then. Teresa Lisbon, may I move in with you?" Jane asked trying to sound serious, because the question was properly ridiculous.

She laughed at him and nodded. "Do you really want to?" she asked, uncertainty filling her voice.

Jane took a deep breath and looked into her eyes, "Teresa, there is nothing I want more than to be with you, granted if you let me. I need you to know that."

"Okay,me too" she said sounding a bit more convinced and smiled.

Jane smiled kissing her forehead.

"Hungry?"

* * *

Jane did not cook after all, too tired and kind of lazy after the day he had. Lisbon´s drawer full of take-out menus came to the rescue and they rummaged through it, bickering about what to ordered until Lisbon lost her patience and called her favorite pizza place.

They ate the pizza, while watching some mindless TV, just like a normal couple. Lisbon was soon engrossed in some kind of criminal show she found, leaving Jane to his own thoughts. He already knew who is the culprit and not just because he saw this episode before.

He didn´t mind.

He got a woman he loves by his side.

A cup of his favorite tea in his hands.

A home.

Suddenly emotional, Jane sipped on his tea and led the happiness wash over him.

* * *

Thank you for reading. I know this chapter is kind of...how should I put it...empty? I plan to add something more into the next one, so maybe you could give it a go then, too :)


	5. It s not written in the stars

Okay, so, I know it´s say no drama in the description, well, I might have lied - by mistake.

Writing this chapter took a lot of time, I must say that I started to write about eight different ones, deleting them one after another, and then another...then I had a couple of beers on a saturday night and this happened.

Honestly, I hope some of you might enjoy it, and if you do, thank you :)

And also thanks everyone who reviews, I do appreciate it.

* * *

Lisbon opened her eyes and sighed. She smacked the old school alarm clock he had bought at some flea market and rolled over only to be face to face with her still sound asleep boyfriend - Patrick Jane - a walking contradiction.

A man that can take a quick nap in a busy workplace and be up in a second, but can also sleep through the freaking noise which that tiny annoying thing is capable of producing.

She wanted to thrown the goddamn thing out twice so far, but Jane seemed to love it. He set it every night before going to sleep and she smacked it every morning , each time hating the sound even more.

For his sake, she did not use a hammer like she swore she would.

For his sake, she did and would do a lot more.

Because Patrick Jane was happy, finally.

Lisbon could see it. It was like a transformation right in front of her eyes. The first time he laughed - not just a cheeky smile, nor a sarcastic smirk, but a full blown laugh - it made her jump a little in surprise. It was such a beautiful sound - and she craved it more.

And it was not the first "first" they had. After knowing a person for such a long time, you would think you knew everything.

Ha.

How wrong you can be.

She would forever remember how he spoke about his wife and daughter for the first time, sharing his happy memories with her.

First time he woke her up after having a bad dream, needing her attention and asking openly for it.

Even the first time she bought him socks simply because she found out while doing laundry that he could use a couple of new pairs.

All of if and more was imprinted in her memory forever.

So a tiny annoying little thing as a alarm clock couldn´t spoil the fact that she was waking up beside Patrick Jane.

Her boyfriend.

Her lover.

And her best friend.

* * *

"Wakey wakey," she murmured sleepily into his ear, and a small groan followed.

"Already?" he asked and snuggled her closer, " it´s still dark outside."

"It´s the drapes Patrick, they´re closed, " she said and left his warm and cozy embrace.

It was only Thursday and they managed to be late twice this week.

"I don´t want to be late again," she said and opened the drapes letting the sunshine in, "now get up, will you?"

"Oh alright, since you are asking so nicely..." Jane said and got up, sensing that this morning would not have the same pattern as the others two did.

He grabbed the alarm clock, and set it, simply out of habbit.

* * *

The work day finally ended, and they walked out of the FBI building into a starry night. Jane stretched himself and inhaled a long breath, enjoying the calm summer breeze.

"Beautiful night, what do you say?"

"Yeah, it´s nice," Lisbon responded while looking for car keys in her purse. They simply weren´t there. Her mind came up with a quick conclusion involving Jane and his excessive hugging today.

"Did you stole my keys?"

She knew the answer before he even told her just by looking at him. It wasn´t just written on his face, it was also the fact that he was holding them in his left hand.

"I might have...oh c´mon Teresa, you rarely let me drive, " he said after she frowned at him.

"That´s because you are a reckless driver."

"I certainly am not, and I shall prove it to you today," he said and opened the passenger doors for her, "hop on," he said smiling.

"Fine," she said with a frown and went in.

* * *

Jane drove relatively nice according to her standards and Lisbon soon calmed down. She herself liked to put the pedal down, sometimes it was necessary, sometimes she just enjoyed it. But the lack of control when somebody else drove made her a little nervous.

She shifted a little when a certain memory came to her mind.

Those seconds before collision - it´s just seconds and yet it feels like hours. You could see what is going to happen, already watching your whole life flashing before your eyes and yet there is no time to stop it.

She didn´t have time to do a thing back then.

The only thing she could do was scream "Dad, watch out!"

He was too drunk to watch out for anything.

He was not wearing a seat belt.

And he was gone in an instant.

She never told Jane how her father had died but she suspected he already knew it, probably cold read it from her during the years but never mentioned it.

A shiver run through her body as she relived few of the worst seconds of her life.

Suddenly Jane´s hand found hers and she took it gladly.

He remained silent thought, his lips a thin line, as always when something made him angry or upset.

So he knows, Lisbon mused.

They drove in silence for a while until Jane asked her whether she cared for spending the night in the Airstream since it´s so nice outside.

She didn´t mind and after saying "Okay" Jane´s expression softened.

* * *

Spending a night in the Airstream - in the nature - was another thing. Lisbon almost forgot how many stars you could see from this particular place. How the only thing you can hear are the sound of crickets and other unspecified animals she did not cared to meet at all. How Jane love to stargaze and tell her all about the starts.

"And that´s Ursa Major, or the so called Big Dipper. It´s always seen from here. Pretty nice, huh? And there´s the little dipper, see? Right...there," and to demonstrate where exactly he meant, he pointed his hand in that direction, waving it a little.

"Yeah I can see it, Patrick. And I also saw a giant moth flying into the Airstream a minute ago."

"Moths are harmless Teresa," he stated matter of factly, his eyes still at the stars.

"Oh, good then. You can keep it as your girlfriend. And give me my keys back so I can go to the house which has no harmless moths flying around while I sleep."

Jane chuckled and got up, giving her an amused look, "All right, no need to be so grumpy Teresa, your knight in shiny armor just came to the rescue."

"Great," she said sarcastically and watched Jane disappear into the Airstream.

Jane stepped inside without the need to turn on the light. He stood silently for a while, trying to locate that poor creature by the sound of wings flapping. After standing over two minutes in a dark and completely silent Airstream he sighed, and went to she switch.

The light helped a lot and soon enough he spotted the so called "giant" moth, which was in fact a tiny poor little thing. He reached his hand slowly into it´s direction.

"Come here little fella, there you go. Now, out with you...I´m sorry but those are the orders and besides, you will have much more fun outside."

He carried it in his hands, which were curled into a bowl. As soon as he stepped out of the Airstream, he could feel Lisbon´s gaze on him.

"Did you find it?"

"Doubting my moth catching skills? Shall I show you what´s in y hands?" he asked stepping out of the vehicle beaming like a kid.

"Oh, hell no! Just...release it somewhere else, okay?"

"Consider it done."

Jane walked some considerable distance away from the Airstream, catching a glimpse of Lisbon standing by her chair with a worrying look. Not a fan of a nature, his Lisbon.

"It´s gone," he said in a bit of a raised voice so she could hear him as the moth fly off to the night.

"Great, now come back, I just saw another one fly inside."

Jane sighed.

Perhaps it wasn´t such a good idea to spend the night at the Airstream after all.

* * *

After making sure the that the Airstream was in fact bug free, which took considerable amount of time, Lisbon finally climbed into the bed, yawning. They said their goodnights to each other, tired after a long day and both managed to fall asleep shortly after.

Jane was awoken by some sound he did not recognized immediately. It sounded like puppy whines and it took him a while to realize it was coming from Lisbon. Jane quickly sat up and turned to her.

She was indeed whining and shaking a bit, eyelids fluttering - a nightmare.

"Shit," he muttered under his breath, and stroke her cheek gently with his right hand, "Teresa wake up, it´s just a dream..."

When that didn´t help, Jane, hating himself a little, pinched her earlobe. It was a bit of painful procedure but it got the job done. Her eyes fluttered open showing nothing more then a panic in them.

"Jane?" she asked desperation filling her voice, sitting up too.

"I´m here , it was just a dream," he said and hugged her gently, "it´s okay," his hand rubbing soothing circles on the small of her back.

Still breathing fast Lisbon relaxed into his embrace letting the panic she felt disappear. It was a lot easier when there was somebody to hold her. Yet, she felt embarrassed a bit. There wasn´t supposed to be no nightmares anymore.

And she shouldn´t need anyone to calm her down.

"I´m sorry," she murmured feeling like shit.

"For what, having a bad dream? Don´t be ridiculous now."

When she did not respond Jane sighed. He knew how hard could sharing be, it took him almost a decade to share some of his own memories with her. When she didn´t return the favor, he did not push her, not once.

Until now.

"Talk to me," he said with gentle voice and let it his words hang over them.

Lisbon tensed in his arms and inhaled a sharp breath fighting the urge to sob some more.

"I know it´s hard and you probably don´t want to, believe me I know," he said and made a small pause to emphasize what he just told her," I know, because I talked to you about...you know. And, uh..., it helped me. A lot in fact. So, if you are willing to share, I am more then willing to listen. "

For a moment there, he was almost sure she wouldn´t respond and it made him feel utterly sad. Defeated actually.

And then she surprised him once again, murmuring a soft "okay," into his ear, "what do you want to know?"

"What was your dream about?" he asked as relief flooded him.

* * *

Lisbon talked and he listened, only occasionally asking questions which needed to be asked.

She told him all about the abuse her and her brothers went through.

She told him how much she hated her father and herself, too. What kind of daughter she was when he couldn´t get a hang on himself, for her? For his family?

How nothing she have ever done was not enough for him to care. To stay. To be a man he used to be. To simply be a father.

How much she wished her mom was still alive.

She told him all about those times she prayed and prayed and yet nothing happened.

How she almost lost faith - the only thing what was left of her mom.

And he listened, brushed the tears away, even though there were not many of them - Lisbon was strong, soldiering on trough the whole talk.

She even told him about those few seconds of terror she was forced to witness before her father passed away. How it changed her forever. And her brothers. How ashamed she felt after feeling not just despair, sadness and sorrow but a glimpse of relief at his funeral.

She told him how her brothers became entirely her responsibility, how she couldn´t handle it and left.

How trapped she felt.

How she entered the police academy and for the first time in her life she felt that she is in fact good at something.

How she rarely looked back since, simply because it was too painful to do so.

And he listened, sensing when it was too much for her to carry on.

So when she finished, he told her how much she loves her.

How much she means to him.

He told her how the only thing keeping him from ending it all after Red John was the picture of her in his mind.

How he missed her every single day and couldn´t bear the thought of not seeing her ever again.

How he never want to be apart from her, not for a single day, anymore.

And how she is the strongest person he knows and he is proud to be her partner.

And finally, she let the tears falls down. Not only because being sad, even thought that was a valid point too, but because she finally found the courage to trust somebody completely.

And with this new found trust, Lisbon was finally able to close her eyes and let the fatigue took over her.

Jane couldn´t sleep, feeling too emotional to do so. He understood how hard it was for her, to speak so openly about hers wounds from the past, and yet how necessary it was to do so. How damaging it can be, to isolate yourself and your memories for so long.

Sometimes, the damage can´t be fixed at all.

And sometimes, all you have to do is try despite of it.

Jane made sure that Lisbon was really asleep and carefully stepped out of the bed, reaching for his phone.

It was half past three in the morning, both him and Lisbon were in no shape to get up in about a hour and a half and face the cruelty of the world. Not today, anyway.

He dialed Abbott´s number and waited for him to pick up.

He did, after a while, sounding irritated and half asleep, granting Jane and Lisbon a day off, if Jane promises never to wake him up, ever again, unless it´s an emergency.

Jane agreed and with a happy little smile plying on his lips went back to bed to the woman he loved.

* * *

 **The house, nightstand, sometime later.**

The alarm clock kept on ringing, jumping a little with every ring it made. Soon, it jumped enough to be on the end of the nightstand and after one last ring, it fell over, hitting the off button in the process.

Silence filled the room - finally.

* * *

 **Airstream, bed, present.**

Lisbon stirred in Jane´s arms a bit, almost half awake. Something was off, something was missing. She tried to remember what was that...perhaps a sound. Her hand should be smacking something right now.

"Sleep love," Jane murmured groggily into her ear and put her hand back where is belonged, into his.

"Kay," she whispered, thinking that sleeping some more is actually a good idea.

Jane grinned and closed his eyes too.

No alarm clocks for today.

* * *

Thanks for reading :)


	6. Southern Nights

The thunderstorm raged through the whole day, from the early morning, while they left for work, to late evening, when they finally got home. It had everything, heavy rain, lightings, thunders, strong winds and it made Lisbon´s headache unbearable. Despite that Jane haven´t even tried to coax her into going home early, not after the day off Abbott gave them. He knew Lisbon wouldn´t approve, so instead of being at her nerves through the whole day, he tried to be on his best behavior, which meant not causing any trouble. He hadn´t even complain about the extra hour she took to finish one of the case reports - it would be counterproductive. It was best to let her finish her work, the one she couldn´t do while being at home, and gave her a beaming smile when she finally said "I´m done, let´s go home."

Jane drove without the need of stealing her keys this time. Lisbon gave him a spare one and declared her SUV as theirs. It was nothing like driving his Citroen, but the gesture meant a world to him.

He gave her a few quick glances during the drive, she was being awfully silent the whole day. It pained him to see her struggle, but he hadn´t said a word.

Home. They will both feel better at home.

* * *

Once at home, Lisbon strode inside, switched on the lights and went to take a shower immediately. Jane knew better then to follow her, she was clearly in no mood for it right now, and he totally understood. He got changed and entered the kitchen in one of his island shirt and older suit pants, ready to make an easy, quick dinner and of course, a cup of tea.

Lisbon stood in the shower letting the hot water do the thing, yet wishing for a tub. Usually, hot water helped to sooth her headaches and it worked splendidly if she could enjoy it in a tub. She could actually feel the tension and stress leaving her body.

Her life had become a lot stress free since her and Jane started...well, since they finally declared those feeling for each other. It had become even better after living together...life was good.

She hadn´t been this relaxed in years.

Perhaps, the headache was just due to the weather.

She turned the water down leaving the shower a bit irritated when another thunder rumbled.

"Stop already," she murmured when her sight fell on one of Jane´s island shirts which he probably left there. Lisbon hesitated for a moment before grabbing it. It smelled just like him, fabric so soft she just couldn´t resist leaving it there.

She left the bathroom wearing Jane´s shirt and comfortable yoga pants.

* * *

She went to kitchen knowing Jane would be making dinner for sure but she didn´t feel much like eating. Curling up on the couch with him seemed way more interesting then food. Then again, it always did.

Just as she thought, Jane was preparing dinner, wearing one of his island shirts too. The heavy rain and thunders really didn´t go with their fashion choices today and Lisbon chuckled. Jane was still unaware of her presence, too busy with cooking and drinking tea to notice her staring. A nice sight, Jane in kitchen. He might gave a wrong impression to those who didn´t know him, lying on the couch all day long, stretching like a cat and drinking tea...Probably not a manly man. Oh, but he was. Tanned and muscular, from all the swimming, he told her. He swam everyday during his exile and it shaped his body...quite well, so to say. Maybe they could go swimming together, Lisbon mused while imagining Jane in swimsuit for a second, then snapped back into reality. Her headache was still there, but it had lessened a great deal, luckily. She hated see Jane worried about her.

"You staring at me," he stated in a calm Jane voice. Lisbon smiled. Of course he knew she was there. It´s Jane after all.

"Maybe just a little bit," she said and hugged him from behind.

"Feeling better?" he asked trying to hide the concern in his voice.

"Yeah, a bit, but I´m not really hungry, I will just lie down on the couch for a while white you eat, if that´s okay" she said to his back, still hugging him. Suddenly, Jane turned in her arms so they were face to face now. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead."Are you sure? I made you Mac and Cheese, just the way you like it."

Lisbon day just became a little better.

Her favorite comfort food. Jane usually cooked meals that required at least twenty different ingredients she did not have, or she did ever heard of. He rarely made an easy and quick dish, still being a bit of a show-off even in the kitchen.

"You didn´t..."

"I sure did. It´ll be ready in a minute but go ahead and lie down, I will let you know when it´s ready."

Lisbon nodded, the couch already calling her name. Jane heard her say a soft "Thank you," on her way to living room and smiled.

Ten minutes later, Jane brought their food into the living room. Lisbon looked at him skeptically as he handed her a bowl full mac and cheese. She knew he wasn´t a fan of eating in living room.

"Dig in, my dear,"

"Thank you," she replied taking the bowl out of his hands.

"Nice shirt you´re wearing, by the way. I like it," Jane said and a amused grin appeared on his face.

Lisbon blushed a bit.

"I hope it´s okay, it was just hanging there..."

"Of course it´s okay. It´s more than okay actually. What is mine is yours too my dear, remember that."

"Thanks," she said again blushing still.

"Not at all," Jane said, "Let´s see what´s on, shall we?"

Lisbon nodded handing Jane the remote.

Half and hour later, the dishes already in dishwasher, Jane came back to Lisbon watching some kind of home remodeling show. Well, more like listening to it. Her eyes were too closed to be watching anything. He sat down at the chair, not wanting to disturb her.

"What are you doing?" he could hear her say groggily.

"Giving you some personal space?" Jane asked amused.

"Just come here, will you?"

She did not have to tell him twice as he chuckled and got up to join her on the couch. He sort of lied, sort of sat down, Lisbon snuggling closer to him. She made an adorable huff after finding a desired position and Jane found himself unable to move.

The home remodeling show was still on and the remote was unreachable at this moment. Hating to disturb her, Jane settled with what was on and put his hands around her.

Soon, his interest in the show grew.

At the end of it, Jane was left with a desire.

He could do it too, remodel some old house, their own house - house with bathroom big enough for a tub, and garden and...well anything they ever wanted. Yeah, he could do that - a bit of work never hurt anybody. It wont be hard and with his savings, safely hidden, they could afford to live pretty comfortably.

He could use a hobby, different than catching killers. As much as he enjoyed working with Lisbon and the rest of the team, he just was not a cop at heart like she was.

Convincing Lisbon - that would be a bit harder. Suddenly, a frown appeared on his forehead. This house just started to feel like a home and he knew how much it meant for her, to not be uprooted - it meant a world to him too.

This needed consultation with the woman he loves. Jane was quickly learning that talking things over is sometimes far more better than just planning stuff and then telling her about it later. Sometimes, not always. Sometimes, Lisbon was just too hard on herself for her own good.

Jane glanced at the clock on the wall, realizing it´s a bit too late for that kind of talk. Lisbon was already sound asleep on his chest, getting the much needed rest after the day she had. As much as he hated to wake her up, having a good night sleep on the couch was hard after certain age. Jane sighed as the memory of his sleeping habits came to him, back then when he couldn´t care less.

Not anymore.

"Teresa, wake up," he murmured softly, stroking her cheek with his free hand.

"Hm?"

"Let´s go to bed, what do you say?"

"Okay," she said slowly and got up feeling a bit woozy, but the headache was almost gone. Just like the thunderstorm. As soon as they got up to their bedroom Lisbon opened the window to let the after rain air in. Jane went to do his nightly routine and by the time he was back, Lisbon was out like a light. He closed the window before joining her in the bed, just in case.

He would never believe anyone who would ever suggest that him - an insomniac through nature, could sleep well during the whole night. Somehow, since living with Lisbon, he managed to do just that.

The alarm clock was set, just like always.

It was unnecessary though since it was Lisbon who woke him up with the best kind of waking up he could imagine.

It´s been some time since they´ve been late for work anyway.

* * *

 **One month later**

Lisbon was looking around the whole property, the pond, trees, ducks..all the flowers growing around, the wind buzzing with the sound of bees being busy. And there, in the middle of the nature, a wooden cabin stood.

It´s really just a cabin, she thought to herself. Old, barely standing, one too. There´s no key to it, but there is a giant tree under which Patrick Jane sits with a smile on his face. She follows his gaze realizing that he is too looking at the cabin. Despite the fact that they´re looking at the same thing, Lisbon was sure what they see is different.

Jane is already making plans on how to rebuild it, and Lisbon, well...to her own surprise the thought of living here doesn´t scare her as much as she thought it would. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, not a cloud in the sky. It´s peaceful. Beautiful. Maybe it´s just what they need. Their own little heaven.

"So?" he asks her with a hopefully look.

"It´s um...quite nice actually," she says while sitting down next to Jane. "But it needs a lot of work."

"That´s all right as far as I am concerned...and the price is low. It´s even much less than we agreed to spend," he says grinning. Lisbon huffs at him. Of course the price is low. The real estate agent would be jumping up and down in joy after selling a place like this.

"Shocking," she mocks him.

Jane´s grin quickly transforms into a smile and he reaches for her hand.

"Fine," she says, "let´s buy it."

"Really?" he asks.

"Oh c´mon, like you didn´t know the answer already," Lisbon says unable not to chuckle while looking at Jane´s face splitting smile.

"I was only forty percent sure, my darling. It´s not an easy guess with you."

"Loosing your touch, old man?" she mocks him a bit.

Jane chuckles but remains silent. It´s a nice Sunday, a lot different from any other days they´ve been having. It´s been a long month, since he popped up the question about buying a new house.

Lisbon was hesitant at first.

"Moving again? We just finished unpacking all this stuff" she waved around with her hands to demonstrate which stuff she meant, "and besides, what is wrong with my house?"

Jane tried to ignore the little pang of sadness he felt when she didn´t say our house and carried on.

"Well, for starters, it´s technically not yours, you just rent it."

"But -"

"Ah! - let me finish, will you?" he said back then, giving her a smiling look. He really wanted to get it out of his chest. "Thank you, well, just like I said, this place is not technically yours, correct?"

Lisbon nodded with a snort which Jane ignored.

"And it is hardly your dream house, don´t try to deny Teresa," he said when she looked like she wanted to argue on this too. "You know...we could have it all, a big garden, perhaps a pool or a small lake," at that Lisbon skipped in.

"A small lake?"

"Why not?"

"Because it´s insane? And think about the price of that. I am not a millionaire, Jane."

Jane smiled.

"Well, one of us is."

Lisbon gave him a shocked look. She knew he used to be rich...just didn´t have a clue how rich.

"You are?"

"Certainly. The couldn´t care less about spending money after...you know, my savings are mostly untouched" he said and his voice filled with sorrow. Lisbon reached for his hand and stroke it gently as he continued, "I spent a considerable amount on the run to Venezuela, it was necessary and yes, costly. But I got a lot of money back from selling the Malibu residence..."

"You what?" she asked after experiencing another shock of the day. "You sold your house? When?" she asked a bit sharply and had to bit her lip when she realized how awful it sounded. Jane didn´t respond immediately, his mind going back to the dreadful few days he spent there. It´s been a lot harder than he imagined it would be. It was even worse when he found out the new owner it going to tear it down. He somehow managed to put a signature on all the papers presented in front of him back then and left the building feeling like a hollow shell of a human being. His last visit to the place where his old life ended. Last time he could walk the same place where his wife and daughter did. He gazed at the red smiley face, knowing he won´t see it ever again.

A shiver run through his body while reliving those lonely moments.

"Few weeks after my return...only Abbott knew," he answered her unspoken question.

"Oh," Lisbon said quietly.

"I should have told you, I know."

"Well, maybe," she said a looked up to him. "I could be there for you, it must´ve been..."

"Awful? Terrible? Soul shattering? Perhaps. But I needed to do it on my own."

"I understand," she said and it was true. Still, imagining Jane being there on his own, with only his thoughts and demons to keep him company made her feel utterly sad. It must´ve shown on her face because suddenly Jane pulled her into his embrace.

"So...you want a big garden, huh?" she asks all of sudden wanting to lessen the despair that had befallen on them so quickly.

He chuckled briefly before responding.

"I do. Always wanted to. So I could grow things."

Lisbon tried to suppress a chuckle imagining Jane planting something in a three pieces suit with a straw hat on his head.

"Like what?" she asked biting her lip again.

"Fruits, vegetables. Orange trees for example - imagine having a fresh orange juice for breakfast, from our own garden. Doesn´t it sound appealing?" he asked already looking a bit better.

"Maybe, but moving just because of an orange juice?"

Jane shook his head. "There´s more to it, think about it Teresa. life is infinite in it´s possibilities and there´s so much we never did for obvious reasons...," he said looking at her sheepishly and swallowed hard before saying, "I am finally ready to live again, to move on with you, and I would love to provide a home for us," which left Lisbon absolutely speechless for a moment.

"Okay," she whispered after few seconds, flabbergasted.

She could hear Jane chuckle but couldn´t see him. It´s been due to the fact that her head was pressed hard into his chest as she tried to hide the tears that dwelled in her eyes, suddenly too emotional.

Since that day, a hunt for the perfect house started. It lasted over a month, simply because is was not easy to juggle working at the FBI - solving cases by the day and house-hunting in the evenings.

* * *

Lisbon stood beside Jane who was making a call to soon to be very ecstatic real estate agent. He looked genuinely happy which was more than enough for her. It´s going to take some time to remodel a place like this, she mused, but when Jane set his mind onto something there was no stopping him. Maybe, just maybe, she could call her brothers it there is something Jane can´t tackle, she was sure they would be able to help. And probably would be happy to, too.

Lisbon inhaled the soft summer breeze and let life happen.

It felt awfully good.

* * *

Thanks for reading and for your reviews, I really appreciate them :) I hope it wasn´t as bad as I find it, as I had been struggling with writing lately - work related problems. Anyway, next chapter will hopefully be better, I´ll let you be the judge.


	7. Lean on me

"You shouldn´t work so hard Jane...you´re not as young as you feel," Lisbon said half amused and half worried. Jane lied sprawled on the couch evidently in pain even though he tried to conceal it.

"Meh," was his only muffled response.

"No work on the cabin tomorrow," Lisbon said sternly and went to make the poor man a cup of tea. She could hear him protest but didn´t care much. He´s been juggling FBI work and cabin work for almost a month now. Everyday had the same pattern. Work, then more work.

Thanks to this schedule, Lisbon became the one responsible for the household. Cooking, or more like ordering take-outs, was now her responsibility. Just as taking care of every other thing the house needed. She wouldn´t lie, it was a lot easier living alone...easier, not better.

The smell of freshly brewed tea must´ve roused Jane from the couch and Lisbon watched him entering the kitchen stretching like a cat on the way there.

"Ah, tea...thank you my darling," he said casually, smiling amusingly at Lisbon´s reaction of his words.

"Darling? Really?"

"What´s wrong with darling? Would you prefer something else, like, sweetest? Honey? Sweetheart? Or the simple yet beautiful - love?"

"Teresa´s just fine," she said and smiled, rolling her eyes at him.

"Such a romantic..." he replied sipping on his tea watching her sat down at the kitchen table, shoulders slumped, eyes weary, her whole posture screaming "I´m tired." Jane did a mental recount of all events in the past few days trying to work out what made her so tired. It was not an easy task simply because he was not around much. The cabin indeed needed a lot of work and to his own surprise, he loved working on it. He immersed himself into it, often loosing the count of time, only the darkness falling telling him to call it a day. A pang of guilt rushed through him as he realized that he left Lisbon alone most of the days.

"A penny for them," she said all of sudden stopping his train of thoughts. Somehow, Lisbon was getting better at reading him. To his delight and both insecurity, he was no longer only a observer, he became an observée.

"I´ve been thinking about leaving you alone too much these days, Teresa. I truly apologize."

"I´m a big girl Patrick, I´ll manage," she said with a smirk and an eye roll.

"That you are, still, I want to make it up to you. Let´s have a nice dinner tomorrow, just you and me, someplace nice."

"We really don´t have to -"

"I insist. It'll be fun, trust me."

"That´s what I´m worried about...but okay let´s go out," she said smiling.

"It´s a deal then" Jane replied smiling too,"...so, which take-out are we ordering tonight?"

Lisbon chuckled. "It´s your turn to pick."

* * *

Jane led Lisbon off the dancing floor into the small booth he had reserved for tonight. He took her into a small yet cozy jazz bar which had been famous for making the best burgers in town. At least according to Wyllie and something called yelp reviews. Jane was not sure what they were but seeing Lisbon devouring her burger like a hungry tigress might just prove it.

They drank red wine, laughed at each other´s jokes and danced to smooth jazz till almost midnight, having fun like a normal couple.

It was just when Jane saw the poorly hidden weariness in Lisbon posture when he decided to call it a night. He knew Lisbon would never admit being the tired one so instead on calling it on her, Jane decided to take this one on himself.

He stretched in their small booth, faking yawning.

"Ah, as much as this evening with you pleases me, I think we should call it a night...I´m a tad tired."

Lisbon gave him an amused look, not even thinking about buying it.

"Yeah right, you´re tired. The biggest insomniac I´ve ever met."

"Well, I´ve been juggling two jobs for the last month, I think I deserve the advantage of being a little tired, don´t I?"

Lisbon chuckled again and yawned, not faking it at all.

"Okay. You´re right. Let´s just get the check and hit the sack."

"Smart move."

* * *

The drive home didn´t took long, at least for Lisbon, as she used one of the quickest traveling techniques - sleeping. She closed her eyes a little after leaving the bar parking lot and opened them a second later, a second that was in fact more than half an hour, when Jane stroke her cheek gently. He contemplated carrying her inside for a moment, but thanks to his sore muscles, he chose a safer option of waking her up.

"Hmfp?" she asked in a groggy voice.

"Yes," Jane responded loosely translating her mumbling as are we there yet?

"Fine," she said and smiled a little before leaving the car.

Once inside their bedroom and properly tucked in after a ridiculously long shower, Jane felt the need for sleep he was talking about. Lisbon was already asleep with her head on his chest, her favorite position for a deep slumber. He murmured good nights to her even though she couldn´t hear him anymore and closed his eyes too.

 **Some hours later**

Lisbon woke up feeling nauseated. She groaned silently, grasping at her cell phone wondering what time it is. Carefully, without wanting to wake Jane up, she stood up, took her phone and left for bathroom. She switched on the light once in there and took a look at her phone. Three seventeen in the morning.

"Crap," she murmured. That damn burger. She ate it in a record time, even beating Jane to it...which considering his eating habits was not such a surprise at all. While he was still cutting the burger into little even pieces, she was almost half-way through it, eating it with her bare hands.

Now, thinking about it, she realized that maybe Jane´s way might have been slower, yet safer. Feeling a lot worse by the second, Lisbon leaned over the toiled and let her body do its work.

* * *

Jane woke up. It was still dark, and according to his mental alarm it was not the time for waking up yet. Something was wrong. He could feel it. He was feeling it. His hands trailed at Lisbon´s part of the bed and find it empty. That was unexpected and to be honest a bit frightening.

Despite it having a logical explanation for sure, he started to feel panic raising up in him thanks to being still half asleep.

"Lisbon?" he croaked while sitting up and rubbing at his eyes. "Teresa?!" he said a little louder when there was no response.

"Bathroom," he could hear her say finally so he stood up and followed her voice.

"Hey, what´s up? You okay?" He asked worriedly when he found her bending over the toilet seat.

"Yeah..." she said before another wave of nausea hit her and Jane hurried to her just in time to held her hair.

"Jesus, woman..." he murmured and rubbed her back with his free hand.

When it stopped and she got time to take a breath in, she gave Jane an apologetic look, "Yeah, shouldn´t ate that burger so fast..."

"Guess it´s a wrong time for I told you so."

She shot him a warning look and said, "Pretty much, yeah."

"Noted. Sorry."

Lisbon turned to him and resting her head on his chest sighing loudly. Jane smiled and wrapped her arms around her petite body. To him, such gestures were new. Lisbon seeking comfort in his arms was not a thing, not now or before and he enjoyed every time it happened.

If anything, it was a sign of trust, at least for him.

"Come, let´s get you back to bed. We still have about 58 minutes before the alarm goes off."

"Okay, let me just wash my face and I´ll be right there."

"I´ll wait here."

Lisbon nodded. Jane started being protective about her in a maximum capacity after declaring the love for each other. Or he had just stopped hiding it. Understanding his need for such a behavior Lisbon let him, at least for now.

She splashed cold water on her face, drinking a bit of it before going back to bed. Jane had tucked her in, kissed her forehead before joining her. It made her feel a bit better. At least until the damn alarm clock went off for the hundredth time an hour later.

* * *

The following days had been hard. As much as Lisbon tried to conceal her tiredness, it was bothering her. A day didn´t get by without feeling like a truck had hit her on the way home. The last time she felt like this was when Jane had fled - she was depressed. Even getting out of bed needed a monumental effort.

That´s how depression works, she had been told back then.

But now? She was fine everything was fine in fact, so why on earth would her body suddenly gave her up?

The worst part though was Jane being on her trail, every second of the day. He had been bugging her about going to the doctor so many times already that she had made an appointment, just to shut him up. He even stopped working on the cabin and stayed at home with her every day. Even though it was really nice to have him so close all the time, it just wasn´t right. They both needed some time to themselves, being used to it for so long.

She was lying with her head in his lap, watching some TV like all other caseless evening before as he stroke her hair gently.

"You really sure about going to your doctor appointment alone? I´m sure I´ll be able to convince Abbott -"

"Yeah I´m sure, like I told you million times before Jane..."

"Okay, okay. Just making sure, no need to get all grumpy."

"I am not grumpy."

"High voice. Also you called me Jane. You never call me Jane at home unless you´re upset with me."

Lisbon sighed and turned to take a look at his face. He looked just as she felt. Not very good.

"Okay. I might be a little grumpy. Sorry."

"No need to apologize Teresa, I just..."

"Just what?" she asked softly when he didn´t continue.

He sighed. "I guess I´m just worried...I know we swore to only look on the bright side and all, but...sometimes it´s not as easy as it looks like. "

Lisbon reached for his face with her free hand and stroked his cheek gently. There was nothing she could say to made his worry disappear. Not until the affirmation from her doctor that she is actually all right.

"Call me as soon as possible, will you?" he asked after a while.

"Of course I will, don´t worry."

"I´ll try my best."

 **The next day**

Lisbon sat at the waiting room, toying with her car keys feeling a bit nervous. The waiting room was almost empty, only three people sitting there. One of them was coughing loudly and Lisbon couldn´t wait to get out of there. The last thing she needed was to catch something.

"Ms. Lisbon? The doctor will see you now."

"Okay," she said and stood up and went in.

"So, what seems to be the problem, Ms. Lisbon?" Dr. Fry asked her as soon as she entered the room.

"Uh, not much really, I´ve just been feeling tired for...more than usual tired I mean."

Dr. Fry raised her eyebrows at her, and Lisbon secretly wished Jane was here. He would describe her condition a lot differently, she was sure.

"And uh, I´ve been experiencing nausea and headaches a lot more then I´m used to."

"In what period of time?"

"For past month I guess."

"Any fever? Seizures? Black-outs?"

"No, nothing like that."

"All right, let´s find out what´s bothering you."

* * *

Lisbon was looked at, listened to, poked, and checked by Dr. Fry in every possible way. She took her blood to run some blood test, frowned upon her slightly high blood pressure and asked her various question varying from her work occupation to whether she is or was sexually active. After it all that, Lisbon was seated in the waiting room once more, this time waiting for results. She took out the phone out of her purse only to see seven missed calls from Jane, and one unread message.

She sighed and stood up wanting to call him just to ease his worries when the receptionist called for her once again.

Crap, she thought to herself. Jane had to wait some more.

Lisbon went back inside.

Few minutes later, she walked out, her face ashen.

Her phone was buzzing again, at least she could feel it from her purse.

She couldn´t pick it up.

At least now right away, still being in a slight shock after the news as Dr. Fry words still resonated strongly in her own head.

Her phone buzzed again and then some more.

She took it out and looked at the caller picture. It was Jane. He was smiling his best dazzling smile that day when she took the photo, wanting to prove her that he is in fact way more photogenic than she is. She wondered what his expression will be after finding out what was keeping his girlfriend so tired and nauseated for the last past month.

With a loud sigh, Lisbon finally answered.

" _Hey_ ," Jane said, his voice filled with concern.

"Hey," Lisbon replied quietly ,"sorry I didn´t call sooner, I just got out."

 _"That´s okay, so what did the doctor say?"_

Lisbon remained silent. Perhaps telling Jane such a news by the phone was not the greatest idea.

 _"Teresa? Are you there?"_

"Uh, yeah, I´m here...where are you?"

 _"Uh, we caught a case, I´m at a crime scene with Cho -"_

"Oh. Okay. Listen, uh, I´m going home -"

 _"What? Why? Is there something´s wrong?"_

"No," she answered automatically, "just going to take the rest of day off."

 _"Are you sure you´re all right?"_

"Yes, we´ll talk when you come home, okay?"

" _Fine_ ," Jane said with a hint of hesitation in his voice.

"See you then...love you."

" _Love you too_."

With that, Lisbon hung up.

She left the waiting room, as tears pooled in her eyes, both from excitement and fear. And probably thanks to the hormones too.

Now, she had to drive herself home and figure out how the hell she is supposed to tell Jane that she is in fact all right and those problems she was experiencing are due to being four weeks pregnant.

* * *

Well, this turned out a bit different then I wanted it to but...I hope you liked it anyway. Thanks to everyone who reads and reviews, I appreciate it greatly :)


	8. Come a little bit closer

There is a M rated stuff in this chaper, nothing really explicit but I marked the start, so you´ll be able to avoid it if that´s not your thing.

* * *

Jane was on his way home, driving through the city as fast as he could. He left the FBI building right after returning from the case leaving desperate Cho behind. Jane had made some enemies today.

And a lot of paperwork.

Was it avoidable?

Perhaps.

Was it necessary?

Certainly.

Some people are just so easily offended, some of them more than others, but then again, Lisbon was acting strange. And for the first time in over a decade he couldn´t figure out what in the name of Lord was happening.

That´s why Jane let his mouth open a little longer than he should. It resulted in case being closed, Cho being angry, and him being punched into nose. He didn´t mind. It was not as bad as it looked. And it made his wish of going home to his girlfriend a little sooner possible.

"Oh, not now..."he muttered when the traffic light turned red and he was forced to jump on the brake.

He stood still, but his mind didn´t.

What could be happening? She was evasive, ignored his plea to talk it over the phone, so it was something personal. She sounded worried. Jane´s mind presented him with various explanations to her behavior, none of them likable. If something happened to her...being devastated would be an understatement.

The light turned green, but Jane remained stationary.

A honk from a car behind his made him fall back into reality. He shook his head slowly and drove on, his mind replaying the events from the past month and suddenly it hit him. Fast.

It was so easy.

The nausea. Tiredness. Moodiness.

It all had an explanation.

Jane inhaled a sharp breath and turned the car around at the nearest crossroad, changing his course.

He was no longer heading home.

* * *

Lisbon was straightening everything in her sight, trying to relieve some of the stress she felt. Thanks to it, the house looked tidier than ever. She was half-way through in sorting Jane´s collection of pastas, wondering what kind of man needs four types of spaghetti.

"Oh, Jane..."she said shaking her head and glancing at the kitchen clock, "where the hell are you...?"

He was supposed be home soon. Right now kind of soon. Oh, who was she kidding, he was being even late a bit. Despite feeling dreadful just imagining the conversation they are supposed to have, Lisbon kind of wanted to get it off her chest. She was scared. Fear, that´s something that came naturally with Jane. She spent over a decade worrying about him, protecting him from others and from himself, yet, she was not sure what kind of reaction to expect now.

A baby.

It´s a happy occasion, most of the time. Would Jane be happy? They never even talked about kids. They hardly talked about anything that included future longer than a month. Sure, he was remodeling a cabin for them, yet, he still wore his wedding ring, fiddling with it every time he felt nervous.

He loved her, yes. But...was it enough for moving on?

Lisbon sniffled.

She couldn´t understand the pain of his loss, no matter how hard she tried, but now, quite aware of the fact that a baby was growing inside of her, she was closer to understanding than ever. Just the thought of something bad happening made her shiver and her hand went instinctively to her belly. Whatever amount of fear she felt, it would be million times harder for Jane.

That was a fearful concept.

Lisbon stood up, searched for her phone and when she finally find it, she tried to call him.

He did not pick up and it made her heart sunk a little.

* * *

Jane was back on track, guiding their SUV home. He didn´t hear his phone rang as it was tucked in his jacket which he took off due to being too hot. It was resting in the back alongside with a few packs of decaffeinated coffee, few ginger ales and variety of roiboos, mint and ginger teas. That was what he was able to snatch fast from the store, in a hurry to be home soon.

He felt kind of lightheaded, the various emotions he should be feeling kept under the lid, at least until he got home. Luckily, he was quite trained in that particular skill.

Soon, he parked their SUV at the drive-in, and went to pick up the goods he brought.

It did not give him much courage when he spotted just how much his own hands shook.

Lisbon heard the front door being opened and time stopped. She stood there in the middle of their living room holding a dustpan and watched Jane entering in slow motion, carrying two paper bags with him.

He closed the door with his foot and turned to face her. His face was emotionless. Lisbon on the other hand looked like a deer caught in the highlights.

"Hey," he greeted her softly.

"Hey yourself," she croaked back and clearer her throat, "you been shopping?" she asked trying to sound casual and failing miserably while Jane only nodded, his eyes never leaving hers.

"I brought you something," he said all of sudden, his voice serious, "I´m not hundredth percent sure you´ll going to need it, so, you have to tell me."

She waited while he rummaged through paper bags and suddenly handed her a decaf coffee. Lisbon took it, first not really sure what was the meaning of all this, until she read the label. "Decaf? Why would I...oh." He knows, she thought to herself.

He nodded, "Am I right?"

Lisbon sniffled, her heart pounding like crazy. "Yeah, you´re right, just as always."

Jane took a deep breath, suddenly lost for words. Despite being almost eighty percent sure about his own assumption this came as a shock. "You sure?" he asked and this time it was his turn to sound hoarsely. Lisbon felt the dustpan slipping through her fingers and nodded, "Blood test sure," she said quietly.

"Oh, Teresa..."he whispered, the paper bags were quickly put down, and suddenly he jumped the distance between them and enveloped her in a tight hug. Lisbon had expected a lot, most of all a Jane shaped hole where doors used to be, but being swung around in their living room by him, smiling so softly it made her heart melt, that she did not expect.

"Stop," she giggled through sniffles and he put her down.

"Sorry, the heat of the moment I guess."

Sighing quietly in relief, Lisbon buried her head into his chest and it gave Jane few seconds to took in his surroundings - the place was spotless. She must´ve been so stressed since the morning...

"Teresa?"

"Yeah?" she mumbled still hiding in his arms.

"Don´t worry," he said softly, "We´ll be fine."

Lisbon chuckled. He repeated the same words she told him back in the Airstream, the night when it all started. He believed her that night, and now, it was her turn to believe him.

She nodded.

* * *

M Rated

Jane held her tight, his body pressed strongly to hers, their kisses passionate and filled with hunger for each other. He never needed her more than now and by the way she responded to even a slightest touch of his, she felt the same. Both of them needed the connection, the feeling of belonging to each other.

"I need you," she whispered into his ear and that itself almost made him go over the edge.

"I´m here, all yours," he replied and soon they become one.

They found the perfect rhythm soon, both panting, moaning and sobbing with pleasure.

"I...can´t take...it much longer," Jane whispered between sobs and moans.

"Let...go," she replied.

He did.

His movement became, frenzied, erratic, and he wondered what kind of woman Lisbon is when she make him loose his control like this. Her cries became louder yet he did not stop, his lips found her neck and he kissed, bit, and licked everywhere he reached, hungry for her like never before.

"Patrick," she said breathlessly and came under him, closing her eyes in pleasure. He didn´t dare to close his and watched her beautiful face, knowing he won´t last any longer. He cried out hoarsely, falling on top of her, a shiver running down his body.

"God," she whispered still drunk with pleasure. Their love making did not last long, but it was intense, raw, true...amazing. And much needed.

"Mhm, he replied simply because that was all he could say right now. He rolled off of her softly, but kept his hand on her belly.

Lisbon smiled upon it, it felt wonderful.

* * *

End of M Rated.

* * *

There was silence for a while, both of them still trying to recover from the delirious feeling of love when Jane finally spoke.

"How are you feeling?" he asked and turned on his side to face her.

"Good," she answered after a while. It was true. She felt good, definitely better than through the whole day. Jane watched the soft expression playing on her face and she quickly avoided his gaze.

"Liar. You are worried," he simply stated.

"No I´m..." she tried to say when he raised his eyebrows at her. "Oh, all right. I am, we are going to have a baby. If you tell me that you are absolutely okay with that, then you are lying as well."

Jane remained silent for a while, thinking about being a parent again. The roller coaster of feelings hit him hard, the longing, joy, curiosity, expectations as well as fear, guilt and sorrow so deep it pained him to think about it. Surviving his ordeal made it impossible to embrace the beauty and joy of life to the fullest. Being with Lisbon had made him a bit closer to feeling and being a whole person, but in reality, he was a broken man.

Luckily, the woman beside him, knew and understood him. She saw his best, she saw his worst and still loved him. His fingers went to fidget with his wedding ring before he spoke.

"I...I´m to paraphrase your own words, absolutely okay with us having a baby. I love you Teresa, I love you so much it keeps me sane. And yes, the thought of being a parent again fills me with fear and guilt for obvious reasons," he said and cleared his throat, "yet...I´m happy beyond words. I...I can´t wait, truly. I can´t wait to take care of you, to cherish you, to force you to eat a reasonable amount of food through the whole day, " he said and she chuckled. He stroked her cheek gently with his free hand and sighed, saying, "I can´t promise you that it´s going to be an easy road...yet it would be one you´ll never have to walk alone. Never again."

Lisbon heart skipped a beat after his words. In all her life, nobody had ever said such sweet and wonderful words to her, and soon her eyes became very misty very quick. Jane smiled and scooted closer, hugging her in process.

"I´d like that," she said quietly and tried to suppress a sniffle, "sounds wonderful."

"It´s a deal then. You´re stuck with me," he said amusingly, "and you too, little one," he continued, this time talking to her belly.

"You made me so happy," Lisbon said all of sudden, meaning every word of it .

"Let me assure you the feeling is mutual, my dearest."

* * *

Lying in bed beside Lisbon, after a nice nutritious dinner he made, Jane reminisced about all those wonderful times he spent with Lisbon. Being a mentalist has its own perks. He could remember all the good times they had, like the one time he got her a pony for birthday, or the day he made her smile with one of his origami frog...it felt like it was ages ago. He, a man seeking nothing but revenge back then, came to realization that there are reason to live for after all.

They have come so far...and even thought the journey wasn´t always an easy one, it was worth it.

He was free.

He was in love.

And he was going to be a father.

Perhaps it was time...time to part with the last thing that was holding him in the past.

Before falling asleep, Jane fidgeted with his wedding ring one last time.

* * *

Well, I have no idea whether this chapter is realistic, and I´m not sure about my writing skills, which are not as good as I wish they would be... but I do hope you did enjoy reading it , and thanks for your reviews, they made the writing process easier :)


	9. Chapter 9

"Teresa Lisbon...Will you marry me?"

Lisbon heard him yet she wasn´t sure that she heard him correctly. She was quite aware of his half helpless, half loving and a bit of unsure stare. His eyes pleaded for her answer and though she knew immediately it would be a yes, it had left her speechless. He was holding the wedding ring - his wedding ring, which he wore for almost twenty years, between his fingers, explaining what it meant to him just seconds ago and now this.

The night was cool and crispy, so it was indeed a good idea to bring the fluffy blanket with them. Sitting under giant tree which dominated their new garden, Lisbon pondered how life can turn upside down all of sudden.

Patrick Jane has just asked her to marry him.

And by the way he was looking at her, he was having a hard time while she remained silent.

It wasn´t like she didn´t want to say yes right away...but this - their relationship, meant a world to her. They worked hard to get where they are now, and it wasn´t a smooth sail.

And yet the managed.

She would gladly be his wife. His partner for the rest of their lives. She was never sure about marriage, thinking her workaholic style of life will probably prohibits her for finding the "right one."

And without marriage and the right one, so to say, kids were out of the question, too.

With Patrick Jane, though, she was truly and finally happy.

She took a quick breath before saying a simple "yes," finally putting Jane out of his misery.

He grinned and she followed his example, taking him about five seconds before he enveloped her in a tight hug.

"You scared me there for a moment," he whispered amusingly into her ear.

She laughed a bit before saying, "Yeah right, like you haven´t knew what I was going to say."

"Not really...after all these years, you are still a mystery to me."

* * *

 **Few weeks later**

Jane was used to take quick naps on load of couches, had been used to sleep in an Airstreams, wooden plank, old motel room beds, he was an expert on quick napping on anything...with the ability of being awaken in seconds. This little ability which he mastered over the years somehow faded after he and Lisbon started living together and he enjoyed those nights during which he had a solid eight hours of sleep.

Today was one of those nights, he slept like a log, up until something had abruptly awoken him. It was not a sound, nor any kind of disturbance...it was something else. An absence. His hand trailed to the right side of the bed, where Lisbon liked to sleep and found it empty.

Even though there was a logical explanation to this, Jane felt a wave of panic rushing through him. It was something he just couldn´t stop doing, no matter how hard he tried. Luckily, Lisbon understood this - understood him - and usually let him do whatever he needed to reassure himself that everything is all right and under control.

He stood up and strode to bathroom, seeing light from under the door.

"Teresa?" he said and knocked lightly, "you okay in there?"

"Yeah," he could head weary voice. He didn´t wait another minute and went in, finding his fiancé sitting on the cold floor, looking like hell.

"Hey, sorry I wake you," she said while Jane joined her at the floor. She snuggled close to him as soon as he sat down.

"Meh, sleep is overrated, and besides, you are the one who should be having a good night sleep. I can always catch some z´s at work."

"Thank God its weekend," Lisbon said and stifled a yawn. Her morning sickness woke her up almost every day, the uneasy feeling always seemed to get her up off the bed, "Oh, Jane, out of the way..." she pleaded when the uneasiness overcome her once again. He got out of her way quite quickly but went back to held her hair while she did what she needed to do.

"Ugh, I´m not really enjoying this morning sickness..."

Jane chuckled, "That´s sort of a given," he stated and his smile froze a little when he caught her annoyed stare. "It won´t last for much longer Teresa, you´ll be feeling right as rain in no time."

She huffed but nodded eventually.

"Ready to go back to bed?" he asked, sensing that she was done for now, at least.

"God yes, I´ll be right there."

She came back to bed minutes later, smelling of fresh mint, snuggling close to him and fell asleep almost in an instant. Jane followed her example shortly after. He was awake a lot sooner than Lisbon and after contemplating just staying in bed with her, Jane got up.

The cabin still needed a lot of work to be ready before the baby comes and he vowed to make it livable until then. Lisbon told him many times that there´s no hurry, that they could still live in her house for a while, yet the thought of it didn´t appeal to him.

He wanted to provide home for his family.

He wanted it so badly that he left their warm and cozy bed, made them breakfast, wrote a note saying where he´s gone and went to fulfill his promise.

* * *

Lisbon slept for two more hours after Jane had left and when she woke up, finding the bed empty, she knew what´s going on. She did her morning routine, munched on cold pancakes and sipped decaf coffee all while checking her e-mails, responding to few.

Knowing that Jane always answered his phone nowadays, no matter where he was or what he was doing, Lisbon picked up the phone and hit speed dial.

To her own surprise, her call went to voice mail. She shuddered and dialed his number again with the same result. "Strange," she muttered to herself and decided checking on him is a good idea.

The SUV was parked in front of their house so Jane must´ve taken a cab to the cabin. Lisbon gathered keys and other essentials before leaving and locked the front door. She tried calling Jane´s phone once more and when the call went to voice mail again, worry filled her.

* * *

Jane rarely swore, but when he did, he employed all kinds of curses, some of which he learned during his childhood at the carnival. He did so now, too.

His ankle hurt like hell, and it started changing its color from pink to red. Even the size changed and his ankle looked like a ripe red orange.

His suit jacket was still on the roof, alongside with his cell phone, so close and yet so far away. He could hear the phone ringing more than once, sure it´s been Lisbon trying to get a hold on him. Still, there was no chance of going up the ladder, the one ladder that he fell off some minutes ago, to retrieve it and pick it up.

So instead, he sat down, gritted his teeth in pain and hoped that Teresa would come to check on him. The possibility of staying like this through the whole day was not appealing at all. He was never good at enduring physical pain, but thankfully, he knew few biofeedback tricks that helped him.

Still, it hurt.

And he hated to think what might be going through Lisbon´s head now. If it was him in her place, he would´ve been losing him mind by now.

"I so hope you are coming soon Teresa," he whispered and watched the driveway, hissing in pain.

* * *

Lisbon turned off the engine and stopped, seeing Jane sitting on the ground. He was waving at her, evidently in pain. She didn´t have to be a rocket scientist to realize what has happened. Hurrying, she left the car, without even closing the door and ran to him.

"Oh, Teresa, you came!" he said desperately and she leaned down to him.

"Yeah, what happened? Does it hurt? Jesus, Jane! We need to get you to hospital..."she said when her eyes fell on the weird looking thing that was supposed to be an ankle.

"For once, I actually agree with you on this one."

"Where´s your damn phone?!" She asked while helping him up on his one feet.

"The roof," he said sheepishly and hissed again when his foot made contact with the ground.

"Lean on me,"

"There is no need - "

"Lean on me or I´ll leave you here," Lisbon said and glared at him.

"You wouldn´t do that..." he said yet obeyed her, leaning on her a bit more.

"Just try me some more..."

* * *

"Luckily, it´s not broken, Mr. Jane, it´s just sprained. Are you familiar with the RICE approach ?"

Jane, annoyed by the pain, the hospital and the way people handled him, sighed before saying, "A cereal grain a day keeps sprained ankles away?" he said, bemused. Lisbon, sitting next to him, rolled her eyes at him.

Dr. Brown smiled. "No, it actually stands for rest, ice, compression and elevation."

Jane nodded and listened as the doctor explained what he was supposed to do, when and how. It didn´t mattered to him, all he wanted to do was get away from the hospital as fast as possible. Lisbon, on the other hand, listened carefully as Dr. Brown talked, committing the information into her memory.

"I´ll give you a prescription for some pain killers, and then you are free to go," The Doctor said finally and Jane nodded.

"Thank you."

"Yes, thank you Doctor," Lisbon added and handed him his new companions - crutches.

"No need to. If the swelling and pain stays longer than 48 hours, I´ll advise you to come back."

Lisbon helped him into the car and shut to door with a bit more ferocity that she initially wanted. Even though nothing really happened, Jane was okay, alive...yet not very well, she felt desperate. Anything could happen to him. He was lucky it was just sprained ankle.

God, she was worried.

Gripping the steering wheel tightly, she started the engine and drove on.

"I´m okay," he said some minutes into the drive, knowing exactly what was on her mind.

"I know," she replied, quietly.

"Teresa," he said, "I am sorry. I certainly did not do this on purpose."

"I know Jane..."

Ah, so we are back to Jane again, he thought. There was no point in talking right now, so instead, he let her drive in peace, at least until they get home.

* * *

"Here´s your tea and painkillers," she said and put said items on the table in front of him. He studied her face while she fused around him and recognizing the look she wore.

"Thank you, now, would you be so kind and come sit down with me?"

She stopped straightening things around her and glared back at him.

"No,"

"C´mon, let´s talk,"

She sighed and said "Fine."

"So, what do you want to talk about?" she asked casually, or at least trying to sound casual.

"I was going down those steps and my foot slipped. I fell, sprained my ankle and that´s all Teresa. There´s no need to be worried."

Somehow, she knew he was right and after all, nothing that bad really happened but that was not the point. Maybe it was the hormones working, as they seemed to do it a lot recently.

"Yeah, because nothing worse could´ve happened..." she said back, silently.

"Haven´t we agreed to be always looking on the bright side?" he asked, with raised eyebrows.

Lisbon sighed, "Does falling of a ladder have a bright side?"

"Of course it does, I believe it's called just a sprained ankle."

"Oh, Jane..."

"I´m fine, and you ,my dear, shouldn´t worry so much. It´s not healthy for you, nor for the baby."

Lisbon nodded, "I know. But maybe, just maybe, I could call my brothers and ask them to help? So you wouldn´t have to do it all on your own? I know you wanted to and I trust you and all...a little help is sometimes all you need," she said, her eyes locked into his.

Jane pondered the idea for a moment, knowing that if he really wanted to have the cabin ready before the baby comes, he would have to work on it 24/7. Just a little accident, like the one he just had, could shatter his plans inevitably. He smiled at her.

"You mean you would be less worried with me being left alone with your brothers? Do they even know that we are engaged?" he asked, knowing they have no clue.

Lisbon shuddered, and shook her head, "I´ll tell them...later."

"They don´t even know we are together," Jane stated calmly.

"No, but -"

"Interesting. You know what? I think it´s a great idea to invite them," he stated smiling sincerely, "I think it´s about time, isn´t it? It´ll be fun."

"Oh God, what have I done," Lisbon whispered into his chest.

He responded with a wide grin.

* * *

 **Four five in the morning**

Lisbon sat down on the cold bathroom floor once again, her chest raising up and down. She rubbed her belly, hoping the worst of it was behind her.

A sound startled her. A crutches being used kind of sound. She sighed.

"Go back to bed Patrick, I´m fine," she spoke as he stepped in the bathroom.

"Meh, it´s lonely in there without you two," he said and was pleased with her dimples showing.

"How´s your ankle?" she asked.

"It´s fine," he said and to demonstrate it, he slowly sat down to Lisbon despite her protests, "See?"

"Yes, I see. Now try to get up."

Jane chuckled. That would be a little bit harder than sitting down.

"I´ll just wait here until you feel better."

"I´m fine...at least for now."

"That´s good to hear."

"Yeah, gimme just a sec and I´ll help you get up."

After brushing her teeth, Lisbon helped him on his feet and they both went back to bed. She snuggled to him, careful not to disturb the sprained ankle, and sighed.

It felt good.

Suddenly, she tensed, remembering the conversation from yesterday. A soft groan escaped her mouth when she realized what she have to do today.

She have to make some phone calls. As easy as it sounded, the thought of it terrified her to the core.

"It´s going to be okay Teresa, they´re your brothers. I am sure they will be thrilled to hear from you, and help you, too."

"Right," she said, not being so sure about it.

"You´ll see," he stated with such a certainty in his voice it made her a little bit sure.

She closed her eyes, giving herself a little break. It might be actually quite nice to reconnect with her family. After all, it´s been ages since all of them spent some time together. Perhaps with Jane´s help, it might not end as a total disaster.

"Good luck telling them that you knocked me up," she said with a smile playing on her lips.

It was Jane´s turn to tense up and she could actually feel it beneath her hands.

"Oh, you know what? I think you should be the one to reveal such an information, they are your brothers after all..."

Lisbon smirked and muttered "coward" under hear breath jokingly.

"Maybe, yet a live one and I´d like to keep it that way," he joked too and they continued their banter till Lisbon´s soft calm breathing let him known that she had fallen asleep. Kissing her cheek gently, Jane closed his eyes too and fell asleep with a smile on his lips.

* * *

As always, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I know it took longer to write - real life caught up on me. Still, thanks to anyone who still reads this story and also to people who find time to write a review, it´s really nice to have a feedback :)

More soon, I hope


	10. Let them talk

"Stan? It´s Teresa...,no, nothing´s wrong. Don´t worry, yeah, I´m fine. Really...Um, I have a favor to ask actually..."

Jane smiled. He was lying on the couch after a long day at work, eavesdropping on his fiancé and her brother talking. So far, she was doing just fine. Sure, she did procrastinate through the whole day, making excuses on why it´s just not the right time to make the call, blaming it on work, case...pretty much anything. Now however, the time has come, so to say.

The talking stopped yet Lisbon stayed in the kitchen. Brother number two had to be dealt with.

"Wish me luck," she spoke loudly from the kitchen and Jane´s smile grew bigger. Soon, he heard her talking again and by the sound of her voice, both brothers agreed to help them. That´s good. Help was something Jane was not easily accustomed to ask for, and so was Lisbon, but Jane had a secret agenda - to reconnect. They were about to become a family and he wanted it to be a proper one. Uncles, aunts, cousins, all of them included. He was sure Lisbon wanted the same thing but their past kept her from doing anything about it.

It needed to be solved and that was just what he planned to do. Perhaps the sprained ankle was not such a bad thing at all.

* * *

"It´s so good to see you sis," James Lisbon, a troublemaker by the look, picked Lisbon up and swirl her around like nothing, while Jane and Stan stood nearby smiling profoundly.

"Stop it! Put me down, now!" she shrieked but couldn´t hide her smile.

"Spoilsport," Jimmy muttered and let his sister loose, "So, are you going to introduce us, or...?" Jimmy asked, his eyes locked on Jane. Lisbon ashen face finally got some color and she nodded. "Sure, Jimmy, Stan, uh,...this is my fiancé, Patrick Jane."

"It´s a pleasure to meet you both," Jane said and extended his hand towards Stan and then Jimmy, "How was the flight?" he asked him and Jimmy finally took his hand, looking a bit shocked.

"Yeah, good," he replied and looked at his sister restlessly, "Did you just said fiancé?"

Lisbon took a deep breath trying to get a hold on herself, "Yes, look, I´m sorry I haven´t told you sooner, it just seemed too..."she said calmly and trailed off, trying to find the right words.

"We didn´t want to tell you such a personal information over the phone, it seemed a bit...impersonal. I know it might come as a shock -"

"You bet, man..." Stan said and the posture told Jane everything he needed to know. Disapproval.

"I love Teresa and for some reasons known only to her, she feels the same way about me," Jane said winking at Lisbon and she smiled. "I intend to make her happy everyday for the rest of our lives, I promise you that. Yet, I will gladly accept any kind of threats you might have for me if I do otherwise."

Stan and Jimmy stared at Jane for few seconds before Stan spoke again. "Didn´t you murder a man?"

The question raised enough red flags in Lisbon´s head to set her off but before she could unleash her fury on Stan, Jane shook his head just a little, so only she saw it. Taking in a deep breath, she remained silent.

"As a matter of fact I did. He was a murdered. He killed my wife and daughter. I promised them that I´ll avenge them and that´s what I did. So, as you see, my promises are not empty," Jane stated, staring into Stan´s eyes, holding his gaze for over a minute.

"Enough, both of you," Lisbon scolded them, breaking the stare contest, "We can talk about this over dinner. Let´s go home," she said and walked to the entrance not even bothering to look whether the three men are following her.

Jimmy shook his head slightly and was the first to follow his sister out, "C´mon guys, we better do as she says," he said grinning. Jane and Stan gave each other another look before following Lisbon outside.

* * *

"Are you out of your mind Stan?" Lisbon growled at her brother in the guest room she prepared for him. Jane was downstairs making dinner, and Jimmy was seated on bed, listening to his siblings arguing.

"Why? Because I am concerned about my big sis marrying some...murderer? I know nothing about him -"

"Stop calling him a murdered or I´ll kick you out. You know damn well he´s nothing like that."

"Yeah, give him some slack Stan, I mean, what would you if it way you? For me, the man´s kind of hero," Jimmy said and laid down on his back, staring at the ceiling or a while.

Stan, a father of four, gave the question a thought. If something like that would happen to his family...okay, he had to admit, just the thought made him angry beyond words.

"Okay, but still. You should tell us, we´re your brothers. A family."

"Yeah, I´m with Stan on this."

Lisbon sighed. Her brothers are agreeing with each other. A miracle.

"All right, you´re both right. I should tell you and I am sorry that I didn´t. But now you know and it would made me incredibly happy if you just give Jane a chance. Can you do that? Because if you can´t, I just -"

"We´ll try," Jimmy said and sat up. Stan nodded somewhat reluctantly.

"Dinner´s ready!" Jane voice echoed from the kitchen all of sudden, breaking the moment in the guest room.

"I sure hope he is better cook than you," Jimmy muttered under his breath, "I´m starving."

"Oh, hush," Lisbon said and swatted Jimmy lightly on his arm while Stan grinned. "Behave, okay?" she ordered and ushered them out of the room, hearing Stan muttering something like "yes mom..."

* * *

Despite the disaster at the Airport dinner went quite well. Jane outdid himself again, making the food so delicious that both brothers asked for seconds. He was quite silent while everybody ate, letting Lisbon bond with her brothers on her own time.

He listened instead of interrupting, storing all kinds of information into his memory palace. It´s surprising how much can a person learn about another person just by watching. For example, there was Stan, all cheerful on the outside but the black bags under his eyes suggested more than a few sleepless nights. Something was keeping him awake at night. Then there was his hands. Too soft for a constructor claiming to be working day and night. His clothes were rumpled, probably not just from the flight. His wife was angry at him for some reason, otherwise she would made sure his appearances were spot on while visiting his successful sister. All in all, Stan was in trouble - most likely financial trouble. Well, Jane could help him in that account. If they manage to get the cabin ready before the baby arrives, he will pay them in gold. Literally.

And Jimmy...Jimmy was hiding something from her sister as well. Perhaps his whole life. His clothes had the odor of cheap whisky, cigarettes and, well, lousy choices. Jane knew the man used to play poker in attempt to make a living. Used to was the term Lisbon used. Jane was not so convinced it was a past tense. He got his electrician license, that much Jane knew, but he also knew that giving up the thrill is not as easy as it sounds. Well, he could help Jimmy too, there were few tricks that could help the young man master his game.

They weren´t the only ones hiding their lives from each other. Even Lisbon was keeping her private life as private as possible, meaning her own brothers had no idea she was even dating, not mentioning the engagement.

Or the baby on the way.

Yet Jane did not push it. After all, they are her brothers and she will tell them eventually. It was not his place to do so. So instead of mingling into the conversation, he started taking the dishes, stopping Lisbon from doing it.

"Tonight it´s on me, dear. Beer anyone?"

Few beers and two cups of tea later, Lisbon called it a night. If they´re lucky, tomorrow would be a crime-free Saturday which they would spend in the cabin. There was always the threat of being pulled to work hanging over them like the Sword of Damocles - even though Lisbon loved her job, just thinking about leaving Jane alone with her brothers made her stomach swirl. Not in a good way. Jane must´ve somehow sensed her discomfort and soon enough his hand rested on the small of her back, his eyes full of understanding. If a look could be translated, this one would be an "everything is going to be all right," look. She gave Jane a small nod and a forced smile before speaking.

"You okay with staying in the Airstream Jimmy?"

Jimmy, sipping on his third beer nodded. "Sure, it´s cozy in there. I´ll be fine,"

"Glad you like it. I spent my whole childhood in one of those things," Jane casually added, picking up empty beer bottles.

"You did? Why?" Jimmy asked curiously.

"Well, it might do something with the fact that I was a carnie kid back in the days," Jane continued talking like it was nothing.

"You? A carnie?" Stan said and got up, helping Jane with the empty tea cups and saucers.

"Yes," Jane replied calmly and tossed empty cans into trash, "is it so hard to believe?"

"Actually, no," Lisbon said before anybody could speak, "you just have to get to know him a little better," she said to her brothers, who both stared at Jane, "a heads up for you guys, playing poker with him is not such a great idea," she added and smiled.

"Guess we´ll see about that," Jimmy said with a grin and Stan smiled too.

"All right, let´s get you all to bed before you spent whole night playing poker, okay?" Lisbon said, feeling tired herself, "You can lose your money some other night."

"Okay, I agree. It´s late," Jane added knowing Lisbon was tired. Both emotionally and physically, he assumed. "Teresa´s right. I can always take all of your money some other night."

"You wish blondie," Stan said in mocking voice but smiled.

"I´ll wake you up at seven," Lisbon said to her brothers, while rolling her eyes at them. "Good night."

* * *

Lying wide awake in bed, Lisbon listened to Jane´s light snores. Oh, how did the tables turned. An insomniac fell asleep while she, tired beyond words, eluded sleep. She sighed silently and changed position again, huffing in process.

"Everything´s all right," Jane spoke suddenly and wrapped his hands around her.

"How come you´re up? You just snored, I heard you," Lisbon muttered into his chest.

"Something must´ve woke me up, or someone, struggling to find a good sleeping position with all her huffing and puffing..."

"Ha-ha," Lisbon said mockingly and buried her head into his chest.

"They´ve just been here a day, it´s going to get better in time, trust me," Jane said, knowing perfectly well what bothered her.

"Yeah, right, because that´s how things work..."

"You´ll see. They are happy to see you - I´ve seen it. And I wouldn´t lie to you about this.

"I know," she said and nodded, feeling a little better. "I´m happy to see them too, but..."

"I can handle them," Jane said, referring to the incident at the Airport. Being accused of murder was something he expected. After all, he did kill a man with his bare hands. He knew why he did what he did and Lisbon understood why he had to that. That´s all that mattered to him - up until now. Because even if he couldn´t care less about what other people think, he cared about what Lisbon think. And if she found the acceptance for him from her brothers important, he found it important too.

"You sure?" she asked.

"Yes, I´m sure,"

"Okay, but if they give you a hard time, I will act on it,"

"I´m pretty sure they are not going to give me a wedgie," Jane added with a smile, imagining his petite woman yelling at two grown up men for giving another man a hard time.

"You know that´s not my point..."

"I know, I know...and I appreciate your concern, but rest assured - I´ll be fine and so will they,"

"Okay..." she said and yawned finally.

"Sleep Teresa, it´s going to be a long day tomorrow," Jane said and shifted a little, making some more room for her and soon his head rested on her belly, like every night.

"I have to tell them about him, too, the sooner the better..." she whispered and her own hand went to cover Jane´s. He smiled.

"Him?"

"What?" she asked, puzzled.

"Do you think the baby is a he?" he asked still a bit amused about her lack of understanding. Lisbon remained silent for a while, realizing that despite they had no idea about the gender of the baby, it was a boy in her mind. There was no logical explanations behind it and suddenly her brothers being here weren´t the only thing worrying her. How did she let it slip? The last thing Jane needed right now was thinking that she would like to have a boy rather than a girl, when in reality, it didn´t mattered. All she wanted was a healthy child.

"It´s okay," he said, probably reading her mind again, "You´ve raised three brothers, so when you think of a baby you probably see a boy, that´s understandable, it´s just your subconscious working."

"You know I wouldn´t -"

"Of course I do, don´t worry about it,"

"But - "

"No buts. Not now. It´s almost midnight and we are both tired."

"Oh okay, you´re right," she said and yawned again, "I love you," she whispered into his ear and kissed his temple before snuggling closer to him.

"Love you too," he replied and soon, they both fell asleep in each other arms.

* * *

Thanks for reading and I hoped you enjoyed this chapter :)


	11. Promise

After the teeny tiny nervous breakdown Lisbon experienced early in the morning, Jane brought the brothers to the cabin on his own as Lisbon´s presence was needed at the FBI. That meant leaving Jane, Stan and Jimmy on their own, together, thus the breakdown.

Her presence was needed at the cabin too, but Jane promised to manage without her. The weather was awfully cold for this time of the year and so was the atmosphere around the cabin. Jane observed Stan and Jimmy judging his handiwork and based on their expressions, they liked what they saw.

That was not good.

He shook his head with a smile. It did not matter that the guys found his work poor and unprofessional as it probably was, given their standards. The point was to get help - and it was accomplished.

He took a first step in approaching the grinning duo and asked, "Is it really that bad?"

"Nah, man. Just some minor mistakes but we can fix them up pretty quickly," Jimmy said, grinning.

"Really? Well, I´m glad to hear that -"

"But, before we start, me and my brother think that we should give some ground rules," Stan spoke seriously, standing in front of him in a posture that was supposed to be threatening. Jane knew the posture damn well. His sister used it too, many times in the last twelve years. Jane´s shoulders slumped a little. This is it. The talk. "Okay, I´m listening," he said as calmly as he could.

"You´re not objecting?" Jimmy asked not so seriously.

"No," Jane simply replied, ready for whatever was coming his way.

"Well, uh -" Jimmy started but Stan shushed him as he was clearly the one wanting to talk.

"There´s only one thing I´d like you to know. If you hurt her, you will have to deal with us. Both of us. Twice."

"I have no intentions in hurting Teresa in any way -"

"Yeah, I heard that before but did _she_ ever told you what kind of time she was having when you left?"

Jane remained silent, his lips pressed into thin line.

"I´m guessing she didn´t. Maybe you should ask her about it."

"I will," Jane suddenly said with determined look which Stan returned with even more ferocity. They stared at each other, reliving the moment from the airport and without the sister and the fiancé in one person, there was no one to cut the tension.

Except Jimmy, of course.

"Enough with the stare contest, guys," Jimmy said, "we have work to do. And remember, Tee would kill any of us if we ended up with a broken nose. So...just cut the shit, will you?"

Jane, rarely the one to back down, nodded. Having a fight with his soon to be brother-in law would be an idiotic idea. "I do apologize," he said quietly, ". I left because I had to, I had no intentions in hurting Teresa...and I´m sorry it lead to that."

"Sure," Stan muttered and left, making his way into the cabin.

"Sorry about that. He´s a little...well, you know," Jimmy said with an eye roll.

"It´s fine, he is entitled to feel angry."

"Yeah, but he´s not entitled to being an ass."

Jane smiled.

"I won´t be the judge of that," he said and followed Stan into the cabin."Let´s get to work."

"Good idea."

* * *

Lisbon drove home, finally, tired after the day she had.

Today, she did the unthinkable.

If Jane knew, he would go crazy. She would never hear the end of it.

She skipped lunch.

Yeah. Jane and her, they had some sort of unspoken rules that both followed. Jane tried to control the part of him which led to all sort of his wild and dangerous antics and Lisbon...well, she was supposed to control that part of her which was responsible for the workaholism.

It worked splendidly, so far.

Today, Lisbon made an exception. She skipped lunch break in order to be done with the work quicker and therefore, be home sooner. Leaving Jane alone with her brothers had been stressing her out all day and she was glad that the day has finally come to an end.

Just one turn and she´s home.

Her stomach growled loudly and she sighed.

"Sorry little one, I´ll eat as soon as I get home, I promise," she said and rubbed her belly. Despite being not so far into the pregnancy, she could swear the baby bump was starting to be visible. Soon, there would be no point in loose tops, she thought.

"Hope daddy cooked something good," she whispered when her stomach growled again.

* * *

"I think she´s home," Jane said while Lisbon´s brothers feasted on dinner he made, sipping beers out of cans. It´s been a long day for all of them and luckily it left them with no energy to argue anymore. Jane, not really hungry, got up and went to greet his fiancé, happy she finally made it home.

Lisbon stepped out of the car, suddenly feeling a bit dizzy. She shook her head trying to her rid of the weird feeling but it did nothing. It was cold outside through the whole day, yet a wave of heat rushed through her.

"What the..." she whispered as her vision started to fade and the ringing sensation in her ears told her what was about to happen.

"Oh, no..."she muttered and everything went black.

She was awoken up a little bit later by the sirens of an ambulance blasting loudly.

She groaned.

"Teresa, can you hear me?" Someone asked. It was Jane, she realized after a second.

"Yeah," she muttered, relieved to hear his voice and tried to sit up, "What happened? Where am I?"

"It´s okay, just stay still. You passed out. We are on the way to the hospital," he replied holding her hand.

"Oh," was the only response she could come up with.

"It´s okay, " he whispered so just she could hear it, "You´re going to be fine, don´t worry," he tried to reassure her. Or maybe he was just trying to reassure himself, too, she wasn´t sure. Either way it helped a lot.

"Yeah, fine," she replied, feeling a bit better. "Fine."

* * *

Stan and Jimmy were sitting in the waiting room, both looking terrified and shocked. They were silent, lost in their thoughts. Jane, beyond terrified himself, his self control long gone. The image of Lisbon just lying there beside her car, unresponsive made his stomach curl. He paced around the small room, feeling a bit claustrophobic. The air in there was stifling. Suddenly, he felt the familiar taste on the back of his throat and had to ran out in a desperate need to find a place where he could empty his messed up stomach.

"Where is he going?" Jimmy asked worriedly, looking at his brother.

"I don´t know," Stan replied, "I´ll better go check on him."

"Maybe I should go -"

"No, you stay here. I´ll be right back," Stan said and left his brother alone waiting in the waiting room.

"Great," Jimmy muttered to himself.

It did not take Stan long to find where Jane had gone. He was watching the man since they arrived at the hospital, it was just a matter of time before he had to visit the porcelain throne.

Stan found what he was looking for soon enough and entered the restrooms closest to the waiting room.

"Patrick, you in there?" he called in. The retching sounds were the only response.

"Yes," Jane croaked after a second and wiped his mouth, "I´m here."

"Are you...okay man?"

Another short silence.

"Right as rain."

Stan nodded. "O-key. You need any...help?"

"Not particularly...I´ll be right back, okay? I just need another minute, or two."

Stan ran a hand through his hair. He had no idea how to respond in situations like this. He muttered a silent "Okay" before leaving Jane alone.

Jane was quite aware of his loneliness. He coughed again and breathed hard, leaning on the bathroom stall. His hands shook. His whole body shook, but he had to get a hold on himself. Unlocking the bathroom stall with shaking hands, he went to wash his face, even if just a little.

Then, a little bit more composed, he went back to the waiting room, finding a doctor in it. Finally.

"How is she?" he asked immediately, ignoring everything and everyone.

"She is stable -"

"What happened to her, I mean, why did she passed out?" Jimmy asked before any of them could raise any other questions, "Is there something wrong with her?"

"No. Fainting and dizziness are not quite common during the first trimester of pregnancy but it happens. It´s due to the low blood pressure. The blood vessels expands as the body needs to create more blood for the baby and sometimes not enough blood makes it to the brain - the brain correct the problem by fainting. As you lay down, more blood enters the brain -"

"Wait, wait, wait..."Stan said, shaking his head, "during the first trimester of what?"

"Uh -" Jane said, knowing that this probably won´t end well.

"Pregnancy -"

"She´s pregnant? You didn´t tell us that my sister is pregnant?" He asked, directing the question to Jane.

"We wanted to -"

"First, you forgot to mention that you guys are engaged and now this? Are you two insane?" Stan nearly yelled.

"Stan, stop. We can deal with this later," Jimmy said worriedly.

"Can we see her?" Jane asked the doctor who looked untouched by the conversation he was witnessing. He probably seen a lot worse things in his carrier.

"Yes. But I advice you all to stay calm. The last thing she needs now is stress."

"Don´t tell me to be calm! I´m not calm, I´m furious! And you!" Stan yelled pointing his finger at Jane and at that moment, he simply lost it. He grabbed Stan by his shirt under the neck, and smacked him against the wall before anybody could react.

"What the hell are you doing?" he croaked and tried to wiggle out of Jane´s surprisingly strong hands.

"Let me get this straight Stan. If she needs you to stay calm, you will stay calm. If she needs you to walk on your hands, you´ll do just that. Because I´ll make sure of that. She´s your sister and I do understand your need to protect her but enough is enough. If you want to take a step into that room you will behave like a normal human being. And if you are not prepared for doing just that, you will have to get through me," Jane muttered quietly and calmly, which was a lot scarier that if he had yelled.

"I could take you down, right here, right now...Patrick!," he spat out, not so sure of himself anymore judging by the look on his face.

"You won´t. I am going to see Teresa now and make sure she is okay," Jane said in the same calm voice and released Stan who nearly lost his balance. He left the waiting room and went to Lisbon´s room without even looking back.

"Can you believe that guy?" Stan asked, breathing hard.

"Scary...," Jimmy said then looked at the doctor. "Is..uh, is the baby okay, too?"

"Yes, both babies are in good health, developing correctly. The ultrasound confirmed there was no damage -"

"Both babies?" Jimmy and Stan asked in unison.

The doctor raised an eyebrows at them. What a weird family.

* * *

Jane entered the white room, finding Lisbon sitting on the hospital bed, looking worried. She was fidgeting with the cross she wore every single day, gloomy expression on her face.

She must´ve heard their little confrontation from the waiting room. Jane sighed quietly.

"Hey," he said, wanting to hug her so badly, it hurt.

"Hey," she replied mind-absently. "I heard yelling."

"I got a little carried away. I will apologize to Stan later, I promise," he said and sat down by her side.

"I wish they didn´t find out the news like this," she said still avoiding his gaze. Something was not right. She knew something he didn´t. Something that was upsetting her more than the fainting itself.

"Me too. But what´s done is done and we will have to deal with that. Now, what is it you´re not telling me?" He asked, the worry in his voice almost touchable.

Lisbon, still pale, sniffled.

"Teresa, you are scaring me. Is something wrong with...?" He couldn´t bear to finish the sentence.

"No," she replied, shaking her head in the process, "They are both fine, as I´ve been told."

Jane stopped breathing for a moment. Seconds later, he took a deep breath in and asked, "Both?"

"Yeah. Apparently, we´re having twins," she said and finally dared to look at Jane. He studied her face for a second and hated what he saw. She was worried. Worried by how he would react by such a news. Lost for words, needing none in the fact, he embraced her in a tight hug, squeezing his eyes shut. Lisbon hesitated for a moment and then just kind of melted into him, feeling relieved enough to cry.

They stayed like this for a long moment, just swaying slowly, until the doors to Lisbon´s room opened again revealing Stan and Jimmy.

"So, we´re going to be uncles, huh?" Jimmy asked and despite the whole situation, Jane had to smile a tiny smile.

* * *

 ** _An hour later after Lisbon´s release_**

After the doctor who has been treating Lisbon explained to Jane what exactly happened to her and how to prevent it from happening again, Stan drove them all home. It was a silent ride. Nobody spoke too much as nobody wanted to. Stan was still visibly angry from the stunt Jane pulled on him, Jimmy found it too awkward to speak and Lisbon...well, she was still bit in a shock.

Twins.

She knew that something happened between Jane and Stan but all she could think about now was the fact that she is carrying not one, but two kids under her heart.

She was worried on how she could take care of one, having no experiences at all, and now, there were two babies on the way.

If anything at all, it also meant two births.

Jane squeezed her hand tightly and gave her a loving look, probably knowing what kind of thoughts were occupying her mind.

She smiled at him, but the smile never really reached her eyes.

Obviously, Jane noticed, however remained silent. There was no point in talking right now, not in this car, not in this gloomy atmosphere.

It can wait until they got home.

* * *

Stan way lying on the comfortable bed in this guestroom, hardly falling asleep. The incident with Patrick was still fresh in his mind and so was the image of his sister being taken away by the ambulance. Why did they just kept their mouths shut? Everything might have been a bit easier if they just tell them about, well, about everything. Angrily, he turned around in vain attempt of finding at least one sleeping position that would´ve worked.

A knock on the door disturbed him.

"Stan?" Lisbon called through the door, "You asleep?"

"No," he replied and sighed. To him, it was already too late for any kind of talking. He was just thinking on how to tell Teresa that he won´t help them finish the cabin. That it would just create too much of a bad blood.

"Can I come in then?"

"Sure," he replied and sat up. Better deal with this quickly.

Lisbon opened the doors and walked in, already looking a lot better than at the hospital. "You look better," he said avoiding her stare.

"Thanks. I feel better," she replied and sat down beside him. "I heard you had a bit of a fight with Jane -"

"Yeah, and I don´t think it is a good idea for me to stay here any longer. I mean, I am happy for you and all, it´s just..."

"I see...but Stan?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you give him one last chance? For me? He tends to be little overprotective and we will talk about it -"

"Well, that´s just load of crap. What about the time you spent at our place? Was he there to wake you up while you screamed your lungs out? No, he was not. Instead, he sent you letters..."

"Stan..."

"It´s true. I never seen you like that, Tee! Never, not even after dad died, hell, not even after mom died. And then this...jerkass leaves and bam, you´re a mess. You always kept yourself together -"

"For your sake," she whispered, sighing quietly, "Do you really think that I was fine when mom died? Or dad for that matter?"

"No, of course not. But..."

"I kept myself strong because of you, all three of you. I couldn´t show how vulnerable I was back then, could I? You were all counting on me...I was a mess, just not on the outside. But you were kids back then so keeping myself together was all I could do. And...maybe I was hoping that once you grown up I could expect a little more understanding from you. Guess I was wrong." she said and stood up. "If you still want to leave in the morning, I´ll drive you to the Airport myself."

"Tee..."

"What?

"Do you really love this guy?" He asked, looking unsure whether he wanted to know the answer or not.

"Yes," she said without hesitating for a second. "Yes I do. So better get used to it, huh?"

"I guess...Hey, Tee?"

"Yes?"

"Uh, I just want to tell you that...I never seen a man more devastated then him today, after we found you lying there. I still think he´s an ass...but, he cares," he said bowing his head down.

"Thanks for the heads up," Lisbon muttered, getting ready for a long, long night. "Night, Stan,"

"Night, Tee."

* * *

Jane was still awake when Lisbon came back to the bedroom. He was still awake when she returned back from the shower and joined him on the bed. He snuggled her closer as soon as he could.

"How are you feeling?" He whispered and she knew that this is going to be a recurrent question for the upcoming days, or better, months.

"Good," she muttered, "really," she said when he kept silent, "You?"

"As good as I can," he said after a while, deep in thoughts. There was a conflict going on his mind. With everything that happened today he was stuck between feeling deliriously happy, terrified and ashamed, too. "Just say it Teresa," he whispered again, knowing her all too well.

"We´re are going to have two kids, Jane..."

"And it will be just fine," he said reassuringly.

"You don´t know that. How can you know that?"

"Simply. I do."

"Stan is thinking about leaving tomorrow," she said, voicing another worry, pushing the first one aside.

"That´s understandable -"

"Is it? I mean, I heard you guys arguing but he didn´t tell me what really happened..."

What happened Jane?" she asked, gazing into his eyes.

"If I´m going tell you, you have to promise not to get angry. Remember what the doctor said - no stress."

"Yeah, since when do you follow a doctor´s advice?"

"Since it was directed to you," he said seriously.

"Okay, I promise I´ll try not to get angry -"

"That´s not enough," he muttered, lying on his back.

"Jane!"

"See? I haven´t told you a thing yet and you´re already angry."

"Just tell me what happened..."

Jane sighed.

"I might have used an unnecessary physical force -"

"What? You punched him?" She asked, glaring at him. She could finally understood why Stan wanted to leave.

"No, no, no...I barely touched him."

"...Jane..."

"Okay, I grabbed his neck and smacked him against a wall,"

Lisbon put her head into her hands, "What else?"

"Nothing else. Just a friendly reminder to stay calm."

"By assaulting him."

"Yes," Jane said after a tiny silence, "Not one of my brightest ideas, I have to admit but -"

"But what Jane?"

"I was terrified Teresa. I overreacted," he said, sounding and even looking beaten.

"Okay," she said, imaging how hard it must´ve been on him, finding her lying there, nonresponding. "I understand."

"No," he whispered making her frown. "Luckily for you, you don´t truly understand and if I could do anything about it, you never will."

"And that´s a good thing," he added when she kept frowning at him.

"Fine," she agreed, "but you should still apologize to Stan, okay?"

Jane nodded, "I will."

"I´m sorry for scaring you like that," she whispered after resting her head on his chest.

"It was not your fault," he said, stroking her hair.

"I skipped lunch today," she muttered.

"I know," he said calmly.

"Of course you do."

"We should tell the others," Jane said, hoping to have Cho as a partner in crime to help him watch Lisbon´s eating habits. Or just watch her in general - Jane trusted him and so did Lisbon.

"I guess."

"Monday, after the appointment?"

"Sounds good," Lisbon said.

There was silence for a while, the only sound was two people breathing in sync.

"Teresa?"

"Um?"

"We are going to have twins," Jane said, grinning despite the way the whole day went.

"Yeah," Lisbon replied, letting the information really sink in for the first time since the doctor told her so. "It´s...amazing,"

"You´re amazing."

"Oh, hush,"

"I love you," he whispered, feeling relieved to have her by his side tonight. Relieved and happy.

"Love you too Patrick," she said, knowing that the use of his first name always pleased him.

They stayed in each other arms, Lisbon almost asleep when Jane asked the question.

"Teresa? What happened to you after I left?"

Lisbon froze.

She is going to punch Stan int the face, for sure.

* * *

I know, twins...but I couldn´t resist :) I do hope you liked this chapter, and thanks for reading and reviewing :)


	12. Agreement

"Do we really need to talk about that?" Lisbon muttered a bit more angrily than she wanted.

"Only if you want to."

"What if I don´t want to?" she continued.

"Then we don´t have to."

"Okay - "

"However,"

"However what?"

"However, the issue will still exist."

"It´s not an issue, Jane. I thought we put the past behind us- "

"Past is always behind us, Teresa. That doesn´t change its importance."

"I don´t want to talk about it," she finished and laid down, huffing in the process.

"That´s quite clear to me. What is not so clear to me is _your reluctance to do so."_

"It was ages ago..."

"Moths ago,"

"Let it go," she said, with a hint of desperation in her voice.

Jane remained silent for a while.

"Okay," he said and laid down, too.

Minutes passed in silence, until Jane spoke again.

"I left because I had to. If it could be done otherwise, I would´ve done it. I needed time to...time to get a hold on myself."

"Okay."

More silence.

"I thought about you every single day."

"Jane..."

"Those letters I wrote -"

"Can you just drop it? Please?" she asked quite angrily all of sudden. "I told you that I don´t want to talk about it."

"Okay, fine...as you wish."

" _Thank_ you."

Jane remained silent, thinking. Lisbon fell asleep shortly after their little talk that really didn´t happened. He understood her need to rest, yet, he couldn´t do the same. The fact that he knew very little about her life after his disappearance never bothered him more than now.

He always needed to know. It was a trait of him as old as himself. Not knowing was not a choice. Not until now. Restless, he got up, leaving his sleeping fiancé to her blissful slumber, while he went to make himself a cup of tea.

Making a cup of tea usually soothed him, but not this time. He strode into the empty living room, thinking about all the things that went wrong and things what went well.

They are going to have twins. Teresa is okay according to doctors. That´s good. Great. Amazing. Just thinking about it made him smile despite the circumstances.

He assaulted Stan. Teresa is refusing talking to him. Stan wants to leave. That´s...not so good. All in all, this day left a bitter aftertaste.

Sitting down on his favorite chair, with a cup of tea in his hands and a book by his side, Patrick Jane fought the insomnia, worries and general feeling of down with things that used to make him just a little better.

He was half way through his tea when some noise startled him. Someone was walking around in the kitchen and by the sound of the footsteps it was not Lisbon.

Jimmy was in the Airstream.

Lisbon in the bed, asleep.

It left him with only one option on who could that be.

Stan.

Or a burglar.

He didn´t knew which was worse, right now.

With a sigh, Jane left the half drank tea on the table, alongside with the book and braced himself for what´s about to come.

Time to apologize.

* * *

Stan was just about to pour himself a glass of water when Jane entered the kitchen. Oblivious to the man behind him, he nearly jumped when he called his name.

"Stan?"

He nearly broke the glass he was holding, successfully saving it before it shattered on the ground.

"Jesus..." he muttered, turning to face Jane, "You walk like a ninja, man."

"On a contrary, I can assure I am not one."

"No kidding," Stan replied with an eye roll so similar to Teresa´s.

"Can´t sleep?" Jane asked, seeing the black bags under the man´s eyes.

"No," Stan said giving Jane as much information as Lisbon would, in a situation like this. Guess not talking about issues runs in the family.

"I would like to apologize for my behavior earlier today. I shouldn´t do what I did and...I´m sorry," Jane said meaning it.

"Not many people could do what you did without a proper beating, you know? I could´ve beat the crap out of you," Stan replied, looking quite angry.

"Point taken . And I appreciate that you chose not to. I´m not so great in a physical confrontations."

"Then why did you do it?" he asked, the anger in his voice evident.

"It´s simple. I am a bit over protective when it comes to Teresa -"

"She never really needed anyone to be over protective about her, you know," Stan replied, his voice a little softer.

"I do know that. Really, I do," he said when Stan raised an eyebrow at him, "Still, that doesn´t change the way I feel."

Stan sighed, "You really love her?"

Jane blinked. "Yes," he said confidently.

"And you won´t leave again?"

"No, never again, not if I have any power over it."

"Good."

"Are you in a mood for some tea?" Jane asked all of sudden, leaving Stan with a blank expression.

"I´m not really into tea..."

"Ah, let me change your mind then."

* * *

Lisbon woke up, slowly, unhurriedly. Something was not right. She blinked, once, twice, trying to determine what had awoken her up when she realized that one side of the bed was empty.

And cold.

Jane was missing. She glanced at the clock, seeing it´s just a few minutes after three. She sighed. Maybe the avoidance to talk was not a great idea after all.

Lisbon got up with a reluctance, feeling tired and went to find brooding Jane.

* * *

"This is actually good," Stan said while he sipped on his tea Jane made. He smiled.

"It is, isn´t it?"

"It´s still tea, but at least it´s drinkable. So...don´t flatter yourself," Stan muttered and took another sip.

"Wouldn´t dream of it."

Silence ensued.

Yet only for a while.

"So, still thinking about leaving?" Jane asked, hoping not to provoke any residual anger but Stan only sighed silently.

"Yeah. And no. You really made me angry Patrick," Stan replied. Jane smiled. Calling him by his name was a little victory, but still a victory.

"I tend to do that, I´ll try to minimize it in the future. Also, I can help you with your financial problems."

Stan, not saying a word, glared at him, a glare so known to Jane, he had to suppress a smile.

"You´re trying to buy me? Really? That´s stupid -"

"You misunderstood me."

"I don´t think so," Stan said and stood up, "Who do you think I am? "

"You´re family," Jane stated simply, leaving Stan speechless, "Family helps out each other, isn´t that correct?"

"No - I mean yeah, but -"

"I had family once. For a short while, thanks to my own ego and a mistake...now, for some unknown reason I´m getting a second chance. I want to help as much as I can.. How much do you owe?" Jane asked, getting straight to the point.

"How -? Did Jimmy said anything to you?"

"No. Your clothes did."

"What the hell man? Clothes?"

"They were rumpled."

Stan remained silent, shaking his head. "What?" he asked after a while. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"It´s simple. You came to help as soon as Teresa´s gave you the call. That means there´s been a lack of work, hence your financial troubles. Your clothes were rumpled, not just from the flight. Your wife was angry at you before you left, she couldn´t care less about your looks. You have bags under your eyes, which means you haven´t been sleeping well for a long time -"

"I have three kids, you know -"

"Three kids, one of them an infant. It is costly. Yet, here you are, in your rumpled clothes, looking tired, angry and frustrated. You´ve been checking you cell phone constantly, perhaps to see if there are any work opportunities -"

"Okay, okay. Enough. Why are you telling me this? To make me feel bad? I already feel like crap so save yourself - "

"I haven´t said a word to Teresa." Jane said sincerely. "If you let me help you, pay you for the work you are providing, lend you money, even, it will be between you and me. I´m quite rich. Spending money...has not been a priority for me during the last decade. I simply want to help."

"It´s still sounds like you want to buy me."

"Perhaps it does. Yet, all I want to do is help you. How much do you owe?"

Stan sighed. "Thirty thousand."

Jane nodded. "I can help you with that. "

"You will not just give me money!"

"Fair enough. I understand. What do you propose then?"

"What? I propose that you stop acting like an idiot!"

"I´ll pay you for the work. This can go both ways. Your reluctance to take money from me is the same as me not accepting you working for free. And your brother. This will be a giant project. I need it done and I can´t do it alone. Not anymore."

"Pay me? I came here to help my sister -"

"And me -"

"And not to earn money!"

"We can help each other this way. It´s simple. Sure, it´s not easy, but it is simple. Your choice."

Stan breathed heavily while looking at Jane. "You are one son of a bitch, you know that?"

"I might just be. Still, the offer stands. As I said, it´s your choice. If you still want to leave in the morning, I´ll drive you to the airport myself."

Stan blinked.

He paced around the kitchen table, looking torn. After few seconds, he nodded.

"Fine...Fine, okay. You won."

"We both did," Jane said and stood up, offering Stan a hand.

Seconds later, seconds that made Jane wonder if he did the right thing, Stan took his hand.

"It´s a deal, then." Jane said, smiling.

"Yeah. It´s a deal."

* * *

Both of the men had no idea about Lisbon being there, hiding behind a door, listening to their little agreement. Her eyes were a little misty, having no idea about her brother financial troubles. She blinked, chasing the tears away and went back to bed, her hand resting on her belly protectively. Soon, Jane came back to the room, too. He stood in the door for while, just watching her. She could literally feel his stare.

"You´re awake," he stated simply.

"Yeah," she said, her voice a little shaky.

"You heard everything we said."

A small intake of breath.

"Yeah, I did."

"Am I in trouble?" he asked sincerely.

Lisbon sighed. "No."

"Good," he said, grinning a little and went back to bed.

Soon, Lisbon was in his arms, head resting against his chest.

"I´m a lousy sister," she muttered.

"Of course you are not."

"I had no idea about his problems. I should have. I practically raised them and now I have no idea what is happening in their lives...," she said, despair and sadness evident in her voice.

"You have your own life now."

"That´s not an excuse. I...I left. I was in charge and I left."

"Of course you did. You felt trapped."

"Yeah...and now their lives are a mess. Stan owes money, Jimmy is doing God knows what and Tommy is a bounty hunter."

"They are good people. Imagine that you weren´t there for them while they were growing up. You did a good job. The best you could do in your circumstances."

"I´m not so sure," she said, brushing a tear away with her free hand.

"I am. If you need an evidence supporting my statement, just look at me." he said.

Lisbon looked up and saw him smiling one of his, rare, true smiles that reached his eyes.

"I´m happy. _You_ made me happy when nobody else could. You are that amazing."

This time, she couldn´t do nothing about the tears escaping her eyes.

"You made me happy, too, you silly man," she replied, smiling through tears. "Damn these hormones," she muttered and wiped her cheeks.

"It´s okay. Everything will be okay, you´ll see," he whispered, hugging her tightly.

"Still want to know what it was like when you left?" she asked after a while. If anything, she could tell him about it.

Jane took a deep breath.

"Yes," he stated firmly, and she knew that if she won´t speak now, she probably never will.

"Okay," she whispered, "well, long story short...I lost my job, my team, my credibility and...well, you," she whispered, taking in shaking breaths. "I had to spent some time with Stan and his family, and uh, I guess he wasn´t used to see me vulnerable like that...I was a mess for a while," she admitted and Jane felt proud of the fact she gathered the courage to do so.

"I´ve had nightmares...," she continued, "I used to wake up in the middle of the night, screaming...and, um..."

"You couldn´t stay with his family."

"Not in that state," she whispered. "Luckily for me, I got I job, thanks to Minelli pulling some strings..."

"I see..."

"But it´s all in the past now. I don´t like thinking about it. Or talking about it for that matter."

"I understand. Thank you for sharing it with me. And I do apologize for putting you through such an ordeal."

"It´s okay. I know why you had to do what you did. Maybe we both needed some time..." Lisbon said and half nodded half yawned at the same time.

"I think we shall call it a night," Jane said, shifting a little.

"Good idea," she breathed out, snuggling closer.

"Good night Teresa," he whispered.

"Good night Patrick...and thank you...for Stan...for everything."

"It´s my pleasure, love. You know me, always ready to save the situation."

Lisbon smirked.

"Yeah, you are."

* * *

 _I have borrowed some of the dialoge from the 7x07 Little Yellow House episode, not all of it, but some. I do hope that you don´t mind :) and as always, hope you enjoyed the read and thanks for the support :)_

 _PS: if anybody has any name ideas, I would be glad if you sent them to me, I am not very good with names... :)_


	13. One More Time

_I haven´t updated this story for a long time and I do apologize to anyone who was waiting for an update. I have to admit that I´ve have moved on a bit with the storyline of Moving on, and I do hope you guys will not be mad. It´s kind of fluffy...or a better word would be cheesy...Still, have a good read :)_

* * *

At first there was shock playing on each of their faces. A pure shock. Well, at least on everyone´s face except for Abbott.

Lisbon is pregnant.

We are engaged.

We are going to have twins.

We are remodeling a cabin for our future life.

Lisbon´s brothers came to aid us, yes, that is being taken care of.

So...when can she start the desk duty?

The initial shock was replaced with joy and happiness. Everyone seemed to be happy for them, congratulating them, wishing them all the best.

Then, the wedding came. The happiest day of Lisbon´s life.

It was indeed a small ceremony, with people whom they knew. Lisbon´s brothers and Stan´s family. Abbott and Lena, Cho, Wiley, Fischer, even Rigsby and Van Pelt found a way to attend.

Van Pelt was sporting "I told you so" grin through the whole day.

Cho lost some money.

Stan and Jane made up.

They were becoming friends.

It was a slow process however Lisbon knew her brother. The worst was past them.

The cabin was almost ready. Few things still needed to be done and Jane let Stan hire some help to speed the process up.

A considerably large amount of money left his savings account, yet, it was worth it.

The nursery was done.

A picture of Angela and Charlotte was hung on the wall.

It was Lisbon´s idea.

She helped him put it up.

It felt bittersweet.

He remembered how the tight knot in his throat forbade him from speaking.

Not so long after that, Lisbon was put on desk duty.

It was her idea too.

Jane couldn´t be happier.

He didn´t even need to persuade her. Nor come up with any arguments.

She was no longer making decisions just for herself. Two innocent people depended on her. She wasn´t going to let them down. She wasn´t going to let Jane down either. She was getting bigger and bigger. Soon enough, just a simple task of standing up from the bed unaided became ´s when Abbott told her that is time to stay at home. The desk duty swiftly turned into couch duty. The woman who hated asking for help had soon realized that there is nothing wrong in doing so.

"Jane?" she called after her husband who was making himself some tea in the kitchen.

"Yes my dear?"

"I can´t get up again," she whined.

She could hear him chuckle.

"Be right there."

"Hurry. I need to go the bathroom. Again."

"Of course you do," he called after her.

"Jackass," she muttered with a smile. She was sure he was enjoying this more than he admitted.

"I have come to your aid Teresa. Take my hand."

"You don´t have to be this dramatic all the time," she said and huffed as he help her get up. "Thank you.

He smiled. "No problem. How are you feeling?"

Lisbon smiled too. "Fine, considering that I can´t do literally nothing on my own. Be right back."

Jane nodded. He went back to kitchen and finished making his tea, thinking about Lisbon. She was indeed helpless when left alone. Even sleeping had became a problem. She slept in sitting position. Any other way made her sick. That´s why Jane remained at home, mostly. Cho used to pop up with case files and Jane became a via phone consultant. Most of the time.

When there was a need for his physical form, Stan or Jimmy stayed with their sister. It worked. Apart from her inability to do things she was used to, Lisbon was fine and took everything with grace.

"Just one more month," he used to murmur to her during those long sleepless nights.

The due date was getting closer and closer.

Babies were descending.

They had the hospital bag ready weeks ago.

Jane took his cup to the living room, awaiting the return of his wife. After several silent minutes, worry filled his mind. He put the tea down and headed to the bathroom.

Knocking on the door, Jane listened to any sound of distress that might be coming from the room.

"Teresa? Are you all right?"

"Uh-huh," came a shaky reply.

"Are you sure? You don´t sound all right to me. Can I come in?"

"I guess," she said.

Jane strode in.

Lisbon was standing there, looking like a deer caught in a headlight.

"Teresa...?"

"I...I think I´m in labor," she whispered, visibly pale.

Jane´s world turned around.

"What? You sure? I mean it could be just the Braxton-Hicks contractions -"

"I don´t think so," she whispered and looked down at her legs.

Her pants were wet.

"Oh, oh! Your water -"

"Broke. Yes."

Jane came closer to her resting his hand on her shoulder. "It´s okay. We´re ready. Everything is fine. Are you in pain?"

She shuddered. "Not yet. I mean, not that much."

"Okay. Good. Just keep calm. Breathe. I´ll help you change and we can go to the hospital."

"Okay. All right," she muttered nervously and let him lead her to their bedroom. He helped her shed the wet clothes, and change into something more comfortable and dry.

"Ouch," she muttered all of sudden. "This hurt a little," she said, gripping Jane´s hand.

"Breathe. It´s going to be all right. Remember the breathing exercises you learned at the Lamaza classes? "

"Yeah...yeah," she whispered, breathing slowly, "I should call my brothers -"

"You can call them on the way to the hospital. We better go now."

"Okay, you´re right."

* * *

 **Later at the Hospital**

Stan and Jimmy sat at the waiting area when Cho arrived. They knew the man as he used to help out at the cabin as well from time to time.

"Any news?" he asked without saying hi.

"No. We are still waiting."

"It´s been three hours," Jimmy said nervously.

"That´s nothing. When Karen had Paul, she was in labor for eighteen hours. I must say man, it was the longest eighteen hours of my life."

Cho sat down. "I´m sure they are fine."

* * *

"I need you to push Teresa!"

"I´m pushing!" she screamed. "It´s all I´m...doing! God!"

Jane blinked in pain. His couldn´t feel his hand. He didn´t dare to tell her to loosen the grip. Not again anyway. Not after she hit him.

"You´re doing fine, Teresa. Just fine -"

"I hate you," she muttered through gritted teeth for the tenth time.

"I know. I know you do."

Another contraction came, and the blood flow in his hand stopped. Lisbon yelled. Sweat was pouring down her face.

"Push!"

She yelled again.

"Good Teresa, keep pushing. You need to push again." Doctor Towley said, "I can see the head, don´t stop now."

"I can´t," she cried out. "I can´t..."

Jane leaned closer to her. "You can Teresa. You´re almost done. You are amazing, you know that? Simply amazing."

Another loud scream left her mouth and the wail of a newborn child echoed in the room.

"It´s a boy! A healthy baby boy!"

Jane gasped. A son. Their son.

"You heard that Teresa? A boy, a baby boy -"

"Is he okay? Jane is he okay? Where is he?"

"He´s fine, breathing on his own, " the doctor said.

"I want to see him, can I see him?"

Seconds later, the nurse brought their first born son and placed him on Teresa´s chest. He was so tiny, bloody and crying. So vulnerable. So beautiful.

"We have to take care of him for now, Teresa. You are not done yet," the doctor said and she nodded, letting the nurse take their son away from her.

"He´s amazing," Jane whispered and sat down back to his wife. "You´re amazing. It´s almost done. Are you ready?"

"Yeah," she whispered, tears flowing down her face. Tears and sweat.

"Okay, it´s time to start pushing again!"

With new acquired strength, Lisbon pushed again once more.

"Great! One more and we´re done,"

She breathed hoarsely, eyes closed in determination and Jane never lover her more than now. He kept encouraging her, wiping her sweat away with a wet cloth, letting her crush his hand...

"One last, I promise Teresa!"

"God damn it!" she yelled and hit her head against Jane´s as she arched forwards. She didn´t really feel it because the pain of labor was way worse than hitting another head with her own.

Jane on the other head saw starts and had to blink them away.

"It´s fine," he mumbled when she stared at him apologetically, "It´s okay. Just concentrate. One more time Teresa, one more time..."

"Here goes," she muttered, her face red.

Another baby started crying just seconds later. She breathed out, and the hold on Jane´s hand lessened.

"You did it, Teresa! You have a beautiful healthy baby girl!"

"A girl," Jane muttered. A daughter. Their daughter.

"Want to cut the umbilical cord Patrick?" Doctor Towley asked.

He wasn´t sure. Then his eyes met Lisbon´s and she nodded. "Go ahead, Patrick."

So he did it. As gently as he could considering how tough it was. His daughter was crying, letting them know she´s there.

"Can I see her? Please?"

"Of course. Here she is," the nurse said, placing their daughter on her chest. She stopped crying once reunited with her mother.

"She´s so tiny," Lisbon whined, her eyes misty. The words seemed to die in her throat.

"She´s perfect," Jane said, unable to take his eyes of them, "just like you."

* * *

Cho sat on the chair, stoic as always, watching the nervous Lisbon brothers.

"It´s been so long already...do you think -"

"Jane," Cho stated simply when tired, disheveled looking Jane appeared in the waiting room. His hair was tousled, shirt rumpled and he was smiling.

Cho was worried that his head might split up.

"Hey, Cho! I didn´t know you were here as well."

"I came as soon as I could -"

"Hey, man, were dying in here! How is everyone? Is she okay? And the babies?" Jimmy asked, standing up.

Jane ran a hand through his hair.

"Yes. Everyone is fine and healthy...and, uh -"

"Boys or girls?"

"One of each," Jane said grinning. "We have a son and a daughter."

Stan stood up as well. "Congratulation, Patrick," he said, meaning it.

Jane nodded. "Thank you Stan. You too Jimmy. For everything."

"It´s okay man, no need to thank us."

"I..uh, I better get back to Teresa -"

"You do that," Cho said, "We´ll wait right here."

"Yeah. Said hi to her from us."

Stan nodded. And then, to everyone surprise, he enveloped Jane in a big hug.

"Go take care of her," he muttered and let go of him.

"I will," Jane replied when the hug was over. "I will."

* * *

"Hello love," he muttered to his exhausted wife. She smiled.

"Hey," she replied. The white of her right eye has turned bright red. Doctor Towley assured them that it is nothing serious and it will disappear in the couple of days.

"How are you feeling?"

"Exhausted. But happy. Exhausted, happy and...a lot lighter," she said with a faint smile when Jane sat down beside her. He chuckled.

"You were amazing Teresa, I love you so much, you know that?"

It was her turn to chuckle. "You better. How are the babies?" she asked nervously.

"They are doing great. The nurse will bring them soon, but you need to rest first, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. I could rest for a while," she mumbled, closing her eyes.

"Cho is here," Jane said after a while.

Lisbon opened her eyes. "Really?"

"Yes. He arrived as soon as he could. Apparently."

"Jimmy and Stan?"

"They are all waiting outside."

"I´d like to see them," she said, sitting up and winced in pain. Jane´s hand automatically covered hers.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I´m fine. Don´t worry Patrick," she replied.

"Okay. I´m going to get them."

"Okay," she whispered, watching her husband leave.

Soon, he came back with the three men.

"Hey sis, how are you doing?"

"Just fine Jimmy. Hey Cho."

"Hey Lisbon. Congratulations. To both of you," he said.

"Thank you," Lisbon said, smiling.

Jane watched them for a while as they talked, smiled...The room was full. He left, unnoticed, and made his way to see his children.

He stood in front of the giant glass, looking at all the babies laying there. Two of them were theirs. His and Teresa´s. Baby boy and baby girl Lisbon-Jane.

His son was wrapped in blue blanket and his daughter was in pink. They were...perfect. He couldn´t grasp all the emotions swirling in him.

Joy. Pure happiness. Excitement. Pride. And, he had to admit, a lot of sorrow, mixed with guilt. He knew he shouldn´t feel like this, yet, he couldn´t help it. A memory came to his mind.

More than a decade ago, he was standing in front of a glass window just like this, watching Charlotte sleep. She was the love of his life. The feeling of pure love for his child was nothing he experienced before. So was the sorrow and guilt when she and her mother were gone.

He shivered.

No.

Don´t think about it, he scowled himself.

Not here.

Not now.

"Hey," a voice came from behind him. Cho.

"Hey Cho, is everything all right?" he turned and asked worriedly.

"Yes. Just wanted to Lisbon have a little family time."

"Oh, okay," Jane replied and turned around, his sight back on those two tiny people.

"How are you doing?" Cho asked casually with that stoic expression of his.

"Good," he said smiling.

"You are going to be a great father," Cho said all of sudden and stood beside him.

Jane blinked. "Thank you Kimball," he replied sincerely, moved by such words coming from Cho.

Cho simply nodded. "Which are - "

"Second row, first two from the left."

"Cute kids," Cho said and his lips quirked up a bit.

"Yes, they are perfect," Jane replied.

"Yeah. Have you named them yet?"

Jane shook his head. "Not yet. We had some ideas..."

"There´s no hurry."

"Exactly."

"So, no Sherlock?"

"No. Lisbon held very strong arguments against this particular name," Jane chuckled while remembering their talk about names.

"I like it," Cho said.

"Yeah. Still, Sherlock Lisbon-Jane is not exactly what we are looking for, apparently."

"When you put it this way..."

Jane was silent for a while. He might have lost his family, however, he have made a new one. One that wasn´t just him and Lisbon, no. His former colleagues were a family to him, too.

Suddenly, he felt overwhelmed.

"I am a father," he said, eyes a little misty.

"Yes."

"I...I can´t quite believe it."

"You better start believing it. You have three people depending on you."

"I know Cho. I know."

"I will help you anyway I can. So will the whole office. We already talked about it. Taking care of two kids will be exhausting. Don´t be too proud to ask for help."

"Thank you, that means a lot to me. To us." he said sincerely.

"No problem. I´m going back to Lisbon."

"Okay. Tell her I´ll be right back."

"Sure. Take your time."

And Cho was gone, leaving Jane standing there all alone, tears falling down his face. So he was crying. There´s no shame in that, he thought to himself. No shame at all.

"Mr. Jane? Care to help me?" A nurse dressed in multicolored robe, the one that was assisting during the labor, asked.

Jane turned around and wiped his tears away. "Yes, of course."

"I´m going to bring your babies to your wife´s room. Can you help me with that?," she asked with a understanding smile.

"Of course," he said with a shaky voice.

"Do you know how to hold a new born baby?"

"Yes I do. I´ve had a daughter once. She´s gone," he added when the nurse gave him a questioning look.

"I´m sorry," she said truthfully.

"Thank you," he said and watched the nurse handing him his son. The little bundle of joy was still asleep, his little hands turned into fists. He stirred a little once he was in his father arms but that was it.

"Okay, let´s go. I am ready."

* * *

They´ve entered Lisbon´s room . She was chatting with her brothers and Cho with a content smile playing on her lips.

"Look who came to visit," Jane said happily when they entered the room.

He could see a flash of worry in Lisbon´s eyes when she saw he had been crying. So he smiled reassuringly, letting her know without words that he´s fine.

"My babies," she said lovingly.

"Oooh, they are so cute, sis! Can I hold one of them?"

Just then a small cry came from their daughter.

"I think someone´s hungry," the nurse said, "the holding must wait."

"Okay, let´s go, Stan, Jimmy," Cho said. "Give them a little privacy."

"Sure thing. We´ll come back later sis."

"Yeah, okay," she smiled.

Soon, the room was a lot emptier.

The nurse handed their daughter to Lisbon and soon the little one started crying. Lisbon looked up worriedly. "Uh...I am not sure how..."

"I´ll help you Mrs. Lisbon. There´s no need to worry."

And soon, with a little help, their daughter was latched on to Lisbon´s breast.

"Wow," Lisbon mumbled, watching the tiny miracle in her arms, "She´s really hungry."

Jane stared as well. He was having an inner fight. Watch his son or watch Lisbon feeding their daughter for the first time. He couldn´t choose. Fortunately, the little one was settled and fed pretty quickly and their boy stated stirring as well.

"Hey little one, you´re hungry as well? Okay, okay, mommy will feed you right away," he whispered, carrying him to Lisbon. Nurse helped them exchange the babies and soon, Jane held his daughter in his arms for the first time ever.

She was awake, but only barely. "Sleep little one, you must be tired," he said, swaying himself gently. "There you go. All warm, clean and fed."

"I am going to give you a little privacy as well," the nurse said. "Just press the button if you need anything."

"Will do. Thank you," Jane said and sat down beside Lisbon once again. The little boy was obviously much more hungrier than his sister.

"Am I doing this right?" Lisbon asked a little nervously.

"Of course you are Teresa. You are a natural."

"Oh, hush," she muttered blushing.

"Look at him. He´s...they are perfect. They are ours. They are finally here."

"Yeah. I know," Lisbon muttered shifting a little, "How are you feeling Patrick? The truth," she said with a determined look. She was worried, that much he knew.

"Overwhelmed," he replied sincerely, "Happy. Proud. Sad," he admitted. There was no point in lying to her.

"Are you going to be fine?"

"Of course I will, Teresa. I couldn´t be happier now, you have to trust me. It´s just...this...this brings back a lot of memories."

"I know. And I understand."

"Thank you," he said with a faint smile. "I love you, have I told you that?"

"Yes, you have. And I love you, too. Oh, look, he fell asleep," she said looking down at her son.

"They are both sleeping at the same time. Better enjoy it while we can," Jane said with a grin.

"Yeah, you´re probably right..."

"Any name ideas?" Jane asked.

"A few," she replied.

"Shoot."

"Well, I was thinking about Nathan..."

"Nathan. I like it."

"You do?"

"Yes, I mean it´s not Sherlock -"

"No it´s not," she chuckled.

"It´s nice. Nathan Lisbon - Jane. "

"Yeah. Sounds nice."

"Any girls name ideas?"

Lisbon shook her head. "I would like you to name our daughter. I mean...I´ve chosen Nathan´s...it´s only fair if..."

"Huh. Really?"

"Yeah. Really."

Jane looked down at baby girl Lisbon - Jane.

Angela named their daughter, Charlotte Anne. It was a beautiful name for beautiful girl.

"Charlotte was a clever girl," he spoke silently, still gazing at his daughter. "She was way ahead of other kids her age. The smartest kid in the room, so to say. I used to read her a lot when I wasn´t traveling. Angela was usually not impressed by my book choices, however, I for example, have encouraged Charlotte´s love for fantasy. The last book I read to her was Alice in Wonderland. Not quite a children´s book, yet she fell in love with Alice and her adventures..." his voice trailed off.

"Alice," Lisbon whispered.

"What do you think?"

"I love it," Lisbon whispered. "Alice Lisbon - Jane."

Jane grinned and sniffled at the same time. Smile through the tears, he thought to himself.

"Nathan and Alice," Lisbon said.

"Nathan Sherlock and Alice?"

"Oh, stop it Jane."

"Okay, okay. I´ll stop."

"Fine," Lisbon said, unable to suppress the sobs and tears any longer. The physical and emotional exhaustion was taking a toll on her.

"Oh, don´t cry, Teresa...it´s okay. All if fine."

"I´ m sorry, it´s just...I am so exhausted and I don´t want them to take them away from me but -"

Jane pressed the call button.

"I know. It´s okay. It´s perfectly fine to feel exhausted. I´ll tell you what. I´ll watch them while you sleep. I won´t let them out of my sight. And when you wake up, all refreshed, I´ll bring them back."

"Okay, but...you should get something to eat -"

"I will. And perhaps, I´ll try the tea in this establishment. It´s worth a shot."

"Fine, you do that...and...thank you," she mumbled and wiped her tears away with free hand.

"No, thank you my love, thank you."

He stood up, gently swaying with Alice in his arms. Lisbon looked up to him, and smiled tiredly. His son, Nathan, was sleep as well.

A thought crossed Jane´s mind.

This is real.

These people are the most important persons in the whole world.

They depend on you as much as you depend on them.

There is no more room for self hatred and self loathing anymore. No more time for that.

It´s time to do something else. Something better.

Because in times like these, you´ll learn to live again.

And he couldn´t wait to start living again - as a father.

Soon enough, the nurse came back, and even though Lisbon find it hard to let go of her son, she needed to rest.

"Don´t you worry, Teresa. I´ll keep an eye on them while you sleep."

"Uhm," she mumbled, her eyelids drooping.

Jane was sure she was fast asleep before the door were closed. He helped the nurse put their kids to their little tiny beds and made his way to fulfill his promise.

Get something to eat. Drink some tea.

And then, return back.

* * *

 _Okay, I´ve warned you that it´s going to be cheesy and now you know I wasn´t lying. I know the names I chose are not perfect and not everyone will like them...but, there´s nothing I can do about it now. Still, I hope you enjoyed the read and as always, thanks for reading. See you later._


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